What's a single to do come Valentine's day? Sure there's a plethora of anti-V-day soirees, at venues classy (the New Museum), trashy (Valentine's Night at Guesthouse), and opposite-sex-bashy (the Rejection Show at the Upright Citizen's Brigade). But do you really want to be broadcasting messages of hate to the love gods? Instead of toasting the demise of romance, why not try celebrating its inception? Throw a "Now we are sixth graders" party, in honor of the days of fledgling crushes, dripping palms, and carefully applied Lip Smackers. Invite all your unattached friends, acquaintances, your overly cheerful Starbucks barista. Serve adult versions of your childhood beverages --Irish cocoa, Russian lemonade, and lots of Hi-C-colored (though hopefully not flavored), punch. Play "Never have I ever", Spin the Bottle, Truth or dare, and, if you're feeling extra, ummm, excited, "7 minutes in heaven". The playlist should be a replica of one the DJ spun so artfully at your sixth grade semi; karaoke machine optional. Add liberal dashes of red hots and conversation hearts and you're ready to rumble...

For all of my Valentine's-Day-Hating Girlfriends out there...I am here to tell you this day isn't that bad. In fact, I think today is perhaps even more enjoyable as a single woman than a "taken" one. I get to enjoy silly handmade cards from bff's that take me back to 3rd grade...those glorious times with home made quaker oats "mailboxes" to put Teenage Mutant and My Little Pony cards in. Those days you got loads of Valentine's (pretty much because it was mandatory that if you chose to hand out cards you had to make one for the entire class, but at that age, you don't put that together). Anyway, there are many reasons to like Valentine's Day, the candy hearts, excuse to eat even more chocolate than usual, the festive attire options, the list goes on and on....However, for me, there is one main reason I like this holiday: TWO WORDS: MICHAEL.BOLTON. More»

What is going on in the UES?? Let’s flash back a minute to last year, where Yankee pitcher, Cory Lidle, crashed his plane into a high rise on 75^th and York. As of 9 p.m. last night, there has been a homocial maniac toting a meat cleaver lurking somewhere around 79^th and York. NOW, just yesterday afternoon, neighborhood favorite, Bardolino, burned down!! WHAT IS GOING ON? I can’t help but think that someone “up there” is aiming U.S.-sanctioned precision bombs right at my apartment. And just like the real thing, the whole neighborhood is going to have to go before they get it right. What does the UES have to do to appease the gods? Sacrifice a virgin socialite (do we even have those?)? Cross-breed our dogs? Take care of our own children? What must we do to STOP THE MADNESS??

[The Scripts Of New York]

[Card via JAllison via Someecards]

 Fine, some of us may only have charred, black embers where our heart once was but, hey, that’s no reason to skip all the V-Day festivities. Plus, you know what any kind of Hallmark holiday spells for the single among us: weepy, intoxicated, stragglers! Pick your next ex at these shindigs:

• Galapagos is hosting their 5th Annual V-Day shindig that promises burlesque, fire performers, and beatboys breakdancing. Anything to distract you from your single-dom.
• Park Slope’s sugar shack will let you slide into a food coma for just a little less than it would cost to pop in your Netflix and order Pad Thai with your roommate.
• Lastly, how could you pass up an event that bills itself as the perfect V-Day spot like this: “Nothing sets a mood like eating a truckload of baked ziti with a famous person.” I have yet to meet a guy who disagrees. Kyp Malone of TV on the Radio will be singing/eating/hopefully not spitting at the Grasslands Gallery for all of you brave enough to attend.

Remember, there’s a reason why V-Day sounds so similar to VD. Enjoy!

[Cover of The W]
Scarlett Johansson, or Josie Red as I call her when she drunk texts me on 3 am peach-schnapps-and-Vicodin benders, is pretty much everywhere these days. She's doing her best Robert Palmer girl pout on the cover of W (in which she waxes poetic about “ho-bags” and “the downfall of society”). She's got a new flick out this month. And, because Josie Red's too refined to pull a Jaclyn Smith or a Jessica Simpson, she'll be capitalizing on her assets by unleashing an album upon the unsuspecting masses! Yes, with musical sounds involving her voice that will no way require backup singers or synthesizers, just earplugs. Oh, relax, don't be such a cynic. I'm sure it'll be slightly less horrible than other Hollywood cautionary tales out there. More»

Sometimes the local news that I wake up to in the morning here makes me really feel like I am part of some movie script.  Such was the way I felt specifically this morning upon hearing that an Upper East Side Psychologist was murdered in her office by some completely psychotic patient with a meat cleaver of all things.  The patient also left another worker in critical condition and is btw on the loose in our city. More»

Don't you sort of love the potpourri that makes up inflight magazines? Can't you hear the muffled sobs lurking behind perky tone of 9 Holes with...Tom Pernice Junior? Cheer up, dear writers; some of us can spot diamonds in the fluff. While persuing U.S. Airway's glossy, creatively titled U.S. Airways Magazine, I came across this.  King of Clubs is a Las Vegas-based company whose noble goal is to extend temporary fame, and all its sundry accoutrements, to all of us unfortunate pleebs. For a mere starting fee of $1,500, you can make "everyone standing in line wonder 'Who is that?'," thanks to a coterie that includes bodyguards, a personal assistant, and, of course, faux paparazzi. According to one Janine Theiss, the sister of the King of Clubs founder Johnny Theiss, the experience is "very cool, but I couldn't live a life like that." One hour of flashbulbs and she's throwing in the towel? Luckily we New Yorkers are made of eco-friendly teflon, so when cometh our satellite?

[Image Courtesty of ASW]

Ivanka Trump, the real estate heiress and beau of Observer owner Jared Kushner, recently threw a valentine's day party for A Small World Members at her new jewelry boutique on Madison Avenue. The ASW party was largely an all guys "Banana Republic" shindig, designed to give the invited society gentlemen inspiration for V-Day.

Among the guests was ambiguously sexual socialite Fabian Basabe, reality-tv star in E! network's Flithy Rich: Cattle Drive. In what we can assume was only the most masculine of voices, Basabe was quoted as saying "They're all beautiful," referring to the Jewelry of course. ASW's Alonso Dominguez described Trump as a stunning and gracious host. Ivanka apparently doesn't have a favorite among her own jewelry collection, however, saying, "too hard to tell, I like them all." In addition to reality TV stars, Trump's brother "Donchie" (Donald) Jr. showed up with wife Vanessa. Also in attendance was ASW's CEO Joe Robinson, designer Tara Subkoff, and furniture designer Eric Villency.

[Fabian Basabe: Born With Debt]

We all love our internet communities. They let us keep up on our favorite band's amazing loft show next Friday night, or obsessively review that guy from our class's profile that we haven't seen in years but that's been to the same bar as us in Key West. These communities are like house parties. You want to see what they're all about, you just don’t want to hang out too long. Friendster, MySpace, and now Facebook. They are fun for a while, but sometimes they get old, fast, and dismantling your account feels liberating, in the, “I don’t need a one dimensional advertisement of myself to meet people” way, or the “I have plenty of friends in real life, without the pictures of me in big sunglasses” sense. But hold on just a second...Getting out might be harder than you think according to the popular article in the Times yesterday titled "How Sticky Is Membership on Facebook? Just Try Breaking Free." As stated in the article,

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[TGI Friday's is TOO much fun]

Nope, actually it's proabably worse for you. The most cognitive heath fanatics already know that drinks, not food, could be what is stopping their pals from losing that extra 10 pounds they have been struggling with. Why it takes some people longer to figure this out than others, I've never understood. Do you not see the labels on that coke you're about to drink down!? Also, have you never been out at night? Why do you think all the twiggy models only drink vodka (usually with no chaser)? CALORIES, CALORIES, CALORIES! Though there's a lot more to losing weight (sugar, fat, exercise, carbs, etc), calories are the most blatant, in your face way to gage. If you maintain a consistent calories in vs. calories expended you will stay a constant weight. This is not rocket science people. Our health savvy good mayor Bloomberg knows this, and now his law may FINALLY help those slower ones "get" it.

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[Photo via NY Mag via Out.com]

I needed no further evidence of the gay man's love of Gossip Girl.  Every single diva I know in the tri-state area was MIA on Wednesday night's when a new episode was on.  Savvy PR agents across the globe wouldn't dare schedule a fashion launch party on a GG night....the gays being their most coveted clientèle.  In case you needed more proof, Out Magazine did an entire photo shoot with the three leading male actors from the show, and spelled it out in the article exactly what it is about Chuck, Nate, and Dan that gets them revved up claiming that "like anorexia, abbreviating words, and American Idol, Gossip Girl is a cultural phenomenon whose early adopters weren’t actually teenage girls but rather gay men trapped in arrested development or seeking to vicariously prolong their youth -- depending on how you choose to stereotype."

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Ever find yourself exhausted from googling your normal round up of ex-boyfriends and weird ex-roommates? And after doing so, you then you google yourself to see what they see when they google you? Well, once that gets old I have something else for you to do. I’ve just spent the last half hour looking at Ancestry.com. It’s a little weird—not that there’s documentation of my existence and where I come from—but that the internet knows. It’s like when you get those forwards that says, “a picture of your driver’s license is on this website”, (is it?) but ancestory also has the names of my pop-pops and their immigration documentations—the whole shebang. This would have helped a lot in third grade when I had to hand draw one of those genealogy trees. Now it just means we’re a step closer to the Matrix.