It's a sad day when some low life, poor, con artist decides to start stealing people's identities so he can buy flatscreens at BestBuy...It's an even sadder day when those "identity theives" are "A stylish young couple...the privileged children of well-to-do doctors" Yesterday's Post contained an article titled 'Con'-nie and Clod Lovebirds in 'Stolen ID Spree'.  Apparently Edward K. Anderton, a 25 year old graduate from Ivy League University of Pennsylvania and his girlfriend Jocelyn Kirsch, a 22 year old graduate of Drexel University, and daughter to a prominent plastic surgeon in Winston-Salem, NC joined forces to become the 21st century version of Bonnie and Clyde. 

Jocelyn said she planned on being an ambassador, and it is unclear where Edward was working, as he was fired this year from his job as an analyst with Lubert-Adler Real Estate Funds.  Oh wait, that's right, he needed a more flexible job.  One that he could travel around the world smooching with his girlfriend and ordering champagne in private hot tubs, because THEN he would know he had made it.  So for the last year these two geniuses fucktards have been traveling all over the world alright...they just charged the tab to several of their neighbors and some good old fashioned strangers.  They were also stupid enough to document all of their trips with loads of photos.  Horseback riding on beaches in Hawaii, the Caribbean, New York, Paris, London, and Montreal.  The pair also bought expensive clothing and jewelery (and apparently hair extensions), scamming more than $100,000 through identity theft.  The police found dozens of bogus credit cards, phoney driver's licenses and keys to over 30 of their neighbor's apartments. 

"They are parasites" says Philly detective Terry Sweeney.  They were also not that sharp.  His ivy league degree in economics sure didn't do much...."They used simple off-the-self scams that anyone could find on the internet." said Sweeney.  Parasites indeed....but what do you think of Jocelyn in her swimsuit??

[Photos taken from the Post]

[Alex Goldberg at Peasant. Photo from NY Mag]

Ruff! Stanley here...so I wasn't going to post on this kid, but decided to anyway, so that world can see what giving unguarded freedom to a child will create (a monster).  In this week's New York Magazine, on newsstands today, there was an entire article devoted to Alex Goldberg...the "Mayor of Nolita", as his older sister calls him, that thinks he's hot shit.  This fatso has had "free reign" over the streets of nolita since before he can remember, establishing himself amongst shop owners, models, night club owners, rappers, actors, and athletes alike.  He's held jobs at Supreme on Lafayette, NikeID, and helped out at Peasant, DiPalo's, and Papabubble.  He's also only 14.  Many think he's like a man trapped in a child's body, but I'm not fooled.  I think he's just a shitty kid that doesn't want to listen to a single adult and that has idiot parents that like that their 14 year old can get them into Nobu.  This is one of the most pathetic profiles written by New York Magazine, so pathetic that you won't be able to stop reading it.

Alex goes to the James Taylor concert in the Hamptons this summer and is disinterested in who that even is, and would rather talk to an NBA player than Paul McCartney.  He makes fun of Dune, claiming that Bungalow 8 is much better anyway, and smokes fake fags on Lafayette.  Who the fuck does this kid think he is? First of all, me and my DAWGS have been running around Nolita much longer than this kid, who's claim-to-fame came after sneaking out to hang with wanna-be celebs at a party at the Delano in Miami last year.   His parents claim that they worry about him losing his childhood, yet they are so lenient with him that they fail to ground him for sneaking out.  No, instead they let him party with his newly made freinds (more than triple his age) for the rest of the vacation.  He calls them by their names (Rich and Robin) and frequently tells them to fuck off.  Sweet. Sounds like a gem to me.  If this child makes one dime off of my city or this magazine write up, I may have to take a bite out of his be-hind.  Until the day comes, I will be anticipating his "growing up"....because god knows this city is a tough bitch and chubby 14 year olds may be interesting to see hustling around town now, but in a couple years he will be a has-been with a coke addiction, a balding head, and 40 more pounds on his frame. Ruff!

Here are pictures taken 10 minutes ago outside the 5th Avenue Apple store.  It is crazy hot and humid out.  We hope these guys are enjoying the 10 seconds of fame they will be getting from this little stunt of theirs.