Hannah Montana Has Supernatural Powers

Hannah. Montana. Up until this December I had no idea who the hell Hannah Montana was. Boy, did I learn, and fast.

“OMG you’ve never even heard of her?!”
“Where have you been living, under a rock?”
“I am like totally IN LOVE with Hannah Montana. OMG I love her. I just love her. I do. She is the greatest. She is like such a good dancer, OMG her moves are amazing. I want to be her. She is so LUCKY. I want the Hannah Montana wig SOOOO bad, I want all her clothes and all her videos. I wish more than ANYTHING that I could see her in real life, I WOULD DIE! I tell my mom this all the time. I need to see her sooo bad. It was like my biggest wish. It is the most I’ve ever wanted anything. Like EVER. I WOULD DIE. Aw. I love her.”

The last quote was from my 9 year-old cousin this Christmas after I made the mistake of asking if everyone else knew who this Hannah creature was, at the dinner table.

It’s like I was the last idiot left that didn’t plan my life around Hannah Montana’s hair changes. In all seriousness, this HM craze has gotten out of control. Last night I was at an event where tickets to see Hannah Montana sold for $10,000. Just to put that into perspective for you: With $10k you could travel with your family to Europe. You could buy a smart car, start a college tuition fund, buy 11 pairs of Louboutin’s, or a meal for 2 at Per Se over 33 times. $10k would pay for your pedicure 500 times, it would buy you 10 years worth of membership at NYHC, and 5 fully loaded MacBook Airs. But you people choose to see Hannah Montana in concert for ONE NIGHT.

Either there is something that I COMPLETELY missed the ONE time I saw part of her show, or YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! Like I really needed any further evidence that children have supernatural powers. Seeing how the little boogers are controlling so many of the parents I have contacts with, is NOT making me rush into wanting one soon. Please, Please stop with the Hannah Montana! It’s not healthy to harbor such strong feelings for a famous person who you will waste your time loving more than anything but who will never become friends with you in real life…unless, of course that person is Madonna.