Celebrities
Dec 15, 2009 3:29 pm

Kate Middleton, Lady In Perpetual Waiting, Comes To New York

Did you hear that Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton is rumored to be moving to New York in January? Wills will be busy training as an air sea rescue pilot, so Kate is off to The Big Apple to study "portrait photography". (Hobbies are important!)-

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Moving to a new city can be difficult, but don't worry, Kate: we've got your New York life all planned out…

Where Kate Should Live: One Morton Square

Kate has been accused of being a Woman of Leisure, living off Prince William for now, and biding her time til she can live off UK's tax dollars. Buying a huge loft won't exactly help change that image, but on the other hand, it's not like the future Queen of England can live in Bushwick. The West Village is the NYC neighborhood that most closely resembles London, and One Morton Square is far west enough so that she'll enjoy relative privacy. Plus, she'll be neighbors with Daniel Radcliffe, possibly the only British ex-Pat who could deflect attention from her.

Her Suggested Friends:

The right friends are going to be instrumental for Kate's transition to New York social life. They need to be socially active and introduce Kate to all the right people, while still shielding her from drama-prone socialites who would taint Kate's pristine reputation by association.( *Cough* Devorah Rose)

Bee Shaffer, whose mother is American Royalty, certainly understands the pressures of being in the public eye, and like Kate, is somewhat demure and reluctant in front of cameras. Neither girl is famous because they're seeking celebrity, so they'll be able to attend parties and give a mandatory thin-lipped smile to the cameras together. Also, Kate is a major clothes hound (she used to be a buyer for Jigsaw), and I'm sure she'd appreciate the access to Anna Wintour.

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Another good friend possibility for Kate is Lauren Bush. Lauren is no stranger to a political family–both her Grandfather and Uncle were President. Lauren has successfully carved out an identity for herself independent from the family name as a model and designer. She went to Princeton, she interned with Zac Posen, and has traveled extensively for the World Food Program. Most importantly, Lauren is a huge philanthropist, and works tirelessly for her FEED program. She could definitely be a role model for Kate, who will need to begin extensive philanthropic work once she does (finally?) become a princess.

Where Kate Should Shop:

If she ever feels homesick, a little shopping spree at Top Shop should perk her right back up. As for American designers, Kate, whose style is famously (and meticulously) conservative, would look great in Ralph Lauren. And how will Kate be able to resist Bloomingdales, the closest thing we have to Harrod's?

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Where Kate Should Dine:

You can't go more British in the city than Tea and Sympathy (conveniently located in our chosen neighborhood for Kate, the West Village). The tiny shop with an all-British waitstaff would be perfect for the occasional afternoon cuppa. If Kate developed a taste for Vegemite sandwiches in her UK youth, she should head to The Creek Bar (underneath Eight Mile Creek), which also serves meat pies and sausage rolls. And after a long night of partying, what better place to fill up on a full English Breakfast of bacon, sausages, tomatoes and mushrooms than The Breslin? (Though Kate, who is famously careful with her figure, will probably stick to the English Rose diet of tea and toast.)

Another option would be 10 Downing who recently just hired a new chef, has a brand new liquor license and a "British air" about them.

Where Kate Should Party:

Kate Middleton LOVES to dance, and is constantly photographed exiting London nightclubs, looking flushed (and some critics say, newly-made up for the cameras). But photos of Kate actually partying INSIDE are few and far between, which is why she should concentrate on the New York clubs that don't allow press. Soho House seems like it's the perfect choice in terms of exclusivity, and definitely a nice place to bring William if he comes to visit. In terms of dancing, the Boom Boom Room might be a better atmosphere for the music loving girl.

But for a true New York experience, Kate should call on fellow Brit Alexa Chung to take her on a low-key night out in the East Village–paparazzi won't follow her there.

Dec 15, 2009 3:29 pm

biancaj

December 15, 2009

2:20pm

good! i'm sick of the trash that passes for high society here(helllo real housewives of everywhere).  

Carole

December 15, 2009

9:28pm

Photography is just another smoke & mirrors PR crapper that the Middletons put out to make it look like Kate is doing something other than sitting around waiting for Prince William to propose. It's been going on for years now, and if Kate was really serious you would think she would have had an internship by now. But nope, she never took a single photography class but she's going to skip over internships and galleries and go right to NY to study with the big dogs! Right. *eyeroll* Testino and the likes of them must be laughing hysterically.  

Arabella

December 17, 2009

4:45pm

It's not happening. I went to school with Kate and I can assure you she is not the little prim and proper princess she and her sycophant media followers want you to believe. Even when she was very young, her mother was "grooming" her to be Prince William's wife. Even back then Kate acted better than everyone else, always telling people she was going to be Queen. She had a slumber party one year for her birthday, and I was invited - not because I was friends with Kate, but because my uncle is a Marquis. The entire guest list was composed of girls who Kate tried to associate just because they were the daughters of titled men or men heir to a title. My mother made me go. Her room was covered in Prince William pictures. It was really nauseating. Kate and her mother have had an agenda for a LONG time, and I feel sorry for the way Prince William is being used and exploited - but if he's that stupid that he can't see it, then I can't feel sorry for him.  

Scott W

December 17, 2009

7:34pm

It's very sad that you have to read such hateful remarks about William's girlfriend. All over the web girls are making up trash about Catherine and her family out of jealousy and it's sickening. Prince William have known his girlfriend for many years and he knows her family better than anyone who write such garbage.

Ladies let me offer you a word of advice- Find your own prince, stop dreaming about William and stop being so jealous of Kate Middleton. It's very obvious ladies.  

Pliar

December 17, 2009

11:41pm

jealousy is so ugly. Good luck to Kate,our future Queen. I look forward to watching the royal wedding this summer!  

mean people suck

December 17, 2009

11:44pm

Royal truth wackos at it again I see.  

Alicia

December 18, 2009

12:52am

Dear Arabella,

Please tell us more about Kate. Nobody "real" speaks out about her and all we know about her is the spin doctoring by the media.  

Louise

December 18, 2009

1:24am

'Arabella' or whoever you are, you're trying to take the mick. Don't know about primary school, but when Kate Middleton was at Marlborough College she was a good egg who was friendly and easy to get along with. She never hosted any sort of exclusive slumber party with a super-posh guest list for her birthday whilst she was a student at Marlborough College either. She did have a poster of William in her room in her dormitory, but it was only the one poster.

Jokes are one thing, but telling lies about a person's life is not on.  

Lucy

December 18, 2009

7:01am

Tell us more Arabella what Kate is really like?  

Curious George

December 18, 2009

5:43pm

Louise: if you didn't know her in primary school, then how would you know she never had a slumber party or had pictures of him in her bedroom?

Scott and Pliar: Jealousy is what unoriginal, simple minds call out when someone doesn't like someone else. Please get back to me when you get a final count on how many people are jealous of George Bush.  

Pippa

December 18, 2009

6:07pm

Hi guys. why not join the Royal Internet Forum? We have many debates concerning Kate as well as Chelsy.

http://theinternetforum.net/royalforum/index.php  

Sarah

December 18, 2009

7:11pm

Because prep school here ends at 13, primary at 11, and there weren't many suitable pictures of William to plaster on the walls at the time. The media, whatever their many sins, don't tend to set the under-12s up as sex symbols.

That comment was not written by anyone educated in this country, either, because the whole phraseology is American. We didn't have "slumber parties", and nor would we say someone "acted better than everyone else". The accurate term would be "staying the night" and "acted as if she were better than" & etc. Two nations divided by a single language, I believe is the phrase. It's also rather telling that she claims her uncle is a Marquis. You see, there's no such thing in this country: the term she sought was Marquess. A relation would know that.

Frankly the scenario is ridiculous on its own merits, anyway. If the Middletons are such master manipulators, would they really openly advertise the fact and their intended goal to a class who absolutely loathe climbers? And even at Marlborough titled families weren't crawling out of the woodwork every way you turned. It would've been a small party if that were the entry criteria; aristocrats are rare by definition. This girl would be instantly identifiable if she were telling the truth, because nieces of Marquesses are rare (Marquises, even rarer).

I'm at a loss as to why any credence whatsoever is being given to an anonymous online poster, with such a nonsensical story.  

Curious George

December 18, 2009

7:20pm

What if she had an American mother, or her father isn't a British Marquess but from another country and she only went to school in Britain?

Regardless of whether it's real or not, there is still no way Kate is going to get in with major photographers after having done NOTHING to earn it.  

Alexandra

December 18, 2009

7:43pm

Sarah, she never said she was British, only that she attended British schools. In Scotland and France you will find it spelled "Marquis". Her text sounds very American to me as well (I grew up in America but now live in Britain) so she either grew up there and went to school in Britain or one or both of her parents were American. It would not be absurd for a Marquis to live in America. Heck, we have princes and princesses in America. The Romanov descendants are still titled and a ton of them live in Ohio. I met one of the princesses at an exhibition once. Some Italian princes live here too, and one of them attended school in France for 10 years but still kept his New York way of speaking. Also, did you ever think of newspaper and magazine clippings? Obviously she wasn't pulling posters out of teen magazines at 11. And as far as the "advertising" goes, Kate's neighbors even said that they had the Middletons over for dinner once but they never returned it because the neighbors were of no social value to them. The Middletons don't have to scream from the rooftops that they're social climbers, it's plainly obvious from the actions and press leaks.  

Xavier

December 18, 2009

7:56pm

I've been following the British Royals for years and i know that people have always had nasty opinions about anyone who have potential to marry into the royal family. Lady Di was shy, not terribly well educated and also had a picture of Prince Charles on her wall {read her biography}. There was tons of debate on if this young girl could handle the pressures of being a future queen. She married Charles and once she showed her royal potential and gave her love to us, we gave our love right back to her. Kate Middleton is just William's girlfriend and she haven't had the chance to show her royal abilities because she's not married to him yet. Give her some time, wait for a wedding, stop trashing her and her family on the web.  

Sarah

December 18, 2009

10:06pm

You're fully entitled to believe that a well-connected woman would out herself to the world at large, on a gossip piece on the internet, as loathing a probable future Queen. I can't see how that would be a likely thing for someone to do, but you can of course believe whatever you want. You can also believe that the Middletons can't dislike any neighbours unless they are socially well-connected, and must always become close to people capable of tittle-tattling to the tabloid press. You can fail to understand how the Middletons are so popular with London high society, when their eldest child has been in a relationship with the heir to the throne for the best part of a decade. But you'll forgive me if my views on all these matters differs from your own.

As to "get in with major photographers" I very much doubt this NY story has any basis in fact. That isn't what I was questioning. Blind acceptance of unsubstantiated, totally unlikely gossip, simply because it suited the reader's existing prejudices, was.  

Louise

December 19, 2009

8:36am

Well said Sarah and Xavier. Telling lies and rubbishing someone else's childhood is wrong.  

Igor

December 19, 2009

2:56pm

Personally I wish William would get hit over the head by one of his young Russian cousins living in America, Alexandra. The midwest branch are lovely people and there are a couple of them around William's age. They are hard workers and do a decent amount of charity and one has been to El Salvador twice. Many of them would make a much better consort for the UK than the social climbing workshy Kate Middleton.  

Lucy Beauclerc

December 21, 2009

4:59pm

Hey Scott!!

"It’s very sad that you have to read such hateful remarks about William’s girlfriend. All over the web girls are making up trash about Catherine and her family out of jealousy and it’s sickening. Prince William have known his girlfriend for many years and he knows her family better than anyone who write such garbage.

Ladies let me offer you a word of advice- Find your own prince, stop dreaming about William and stop being so jealous of Kate Middleton. It’s very obvious ladies."

I think the garbage you refer to was authored by garbage, Scott. Good call.  

Berkshire

April 16, 2010

5:42pm

Kate is just English white trash. Did you see her Uncle who was busted on camera doing very lowlife things. Kate is common, too common. She probably could not even get into most NY Sociery homes without a phonecall from Prince William to open a door. Kate is just not suitable. The Palace denies every engagement report that arises. She is someone teaching Pr.William his way around the boudiour in my opinion, she will never get the okay for Marriage from the Palace.  

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