The increasingly respectable Bowery has lost its bums, but can now compliment your own bum with J. Crew's new LES-inspired khakis. The preppy chain's catalog doubles as an amusing game of Lower East Side Monopoly, and Ludlow is the new Boardwalk.
Stanton Street, somewhat inaccurately, is the lowly Baltic Avenue of the lot, with the "urban slim-fit sun-faded" pant bearing its name priced at an entry-level $65. The "regular-fit lightweight Essex pant" with a "broken-in feel" (kinda like Essex St. itself, with its ancient market and anachronistic sex shop) is St. Jame's Place, at $69.50. Bowery is the Marvin Gardens equivalent, as the "classic-fit Oxford Bowery pant" sells for $75. And in a concession to the erstwhile skid row's remaining drunks, there is a convenient zip fly, making it that much easier to piss on the cracked sidewalks.
Finally, Ludlow Street, arguably the first of the neighborhood's stretches to clean its act up, is the only thoroughfare which gets a whole line of suits, the most expensive of which will set you back $395. Perfect for strolling down the Boardwalk and gazing at the pristine Jersey Shore.
I can't wait for the $15 pair of Attorney Street flip-flops and the $50 Delancey Belt! Meanwhile, J. Crew might want to shoot its next New York-inspired ads in New York, instead of Portugal. Also, get some more authentic models:
[Photos Courtesy of EVGrieve]