It's only once you find that perfect summer share house and are all settled in when you realize that your housemate likes to belt out Barbra Streisand ballads while slathering tanning oil all over his hairy body, then proceeds to ask you to get those "hard to reach" areas. So what do you do when you have to put up with the housemate from hell? We've got some tips for you!
Ear plugs are essential.
"The way she slurps her oatmeal at 6 a.m. drives me insane." "The way he gargles for 2 hours before he goes out for the night makes me cringe." And then of course there are the more obvious late night noises that we won't get into. Just do yourself a favor and block it out.
Hide an extra stash of essentials.
Toilet paper, tooth paste, your favorite cereal - such things have a tendency to "disappear" when living with others. If you keep a private stash and you will find it less infuriating when you realize somehow the brand new roll of toilet paper has been completely used up within 24 hours. Just laugh to yourself, "Haha, fools!" and dig in to the roll you've been hiding under your bed.
Advil, lots of Advil.
Hangovers are inevitable in the Hamptons. Being hungover and having to deal with an awful housemate makes everything feel so much worse. Pop that Advil, drink that Gatorade and get out of the house for some fresh air.
Clorox wipes, rubber gloves and paper towels.
You never know what you might end up having to pick up off the floor or clean up after - better to be safe than sorry.
Boat loads of alcohol.
When all is said and done, everyone is there to have fun and relax. So when it's really that horrible, drink up, offer your peeve of a housemate a drink and cheers to summer.
Some sharehouse offenders:
"Dude, the party is over. Will you PLEASE stop playing MGMT now?"
Girl: "Um, that's my watermelon... what are you doing to it?"
Drink up, maybe you will learn to enjoy your housemate's strange habits... like when he thrusts into the back of your head.