Sunday was the premiere of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and we all know what that means: lots of sex. Yes, it's the one week where us girls can act like pseudo-tough guys and impress our hunky men with our ability to watch sharks literally tear shit apart.
It's Going Down...
What guy wouldn't dig it if you're date night didn't consist of dinner at some fancy restaurant and a chick-flick, but instead take-out Chinese food, beer, and watching sharks kill things? Though it may be a nail biter when the pros dive down to check out these scary monsters, your man will be so into your new laid-back self that something else may be going down later on...
Drunk Pool Sex
Give us any excuse to drink something delicious and we're in! The Shark Week cocktails sound absolutely yum-tastic, and they inspire us to bear watching the underwater action on the screen. Speaking of underwater action, what better segue to propose a late night skinny dip? I mean, it IS summertime! If you're new to this kind of..interaction...well, that's what Google is for. We don't want to get into details.
No, you don't have to dress up like a shark (though Discovery Channel encourages you to try it), but you can get a little freaky. We're thinking a hot femme fatale donned in a flirty wet suit and a scruffy fisherman who can't wait to hook his catch of the day. Meet at a bar, ignore the sure-to-be confused onlookers, and start taking shots of Captain Morgan. Before you know it, you'll be on God knows whose boat doing God knows what to this perfect "stranger."
Ever been told you talk like a sailor? Keep it up this week (no pun intended). There's no better excuse to revel in your filthy mouth than when the TV is full of fishermen, divers, and people who lead the uncensored life.
Shark Week and wild sex really do go hand in hand, and everyone should be capitalizing on this annual opportunity. Call your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or go straight to the bar. It's time to get primal.