Summer Lovin' Ripped At The Seams

by CARSON GRIFFITH · September 1, 2009

Rachelle is pretty stumped how we never met our summer loves out here. Don't get us wrong, we met some good guys. A pretty great dancer at Love Heals, a contender for Best Dressed in Montauk, calls we never answered and probably never will, and some pictures we'll store away in our drawers for a long time to come. But there are certain reasons why we never did in fact get to that Danny/Sandy Summer Lovin' stage and we want to thank for putting their finger on it. Their "Hipster Douchebag Soundboard" sums up everything we've been trying to say about the not-so-fairer sex for weeks, even months now. Our personal favorite taglines from the ingenious "Hipster Douchebag Soundboard" include...

"I'm a solopereneur"

"You should tweet that"

"I totes spilled PBR all over my scarf" (due to the abnormal amount of "summer" scarves worn by males out here - please explain to us, WTF is a summer scarf?!)

"I'll accept him on Linkedin (HA) but NOT on Facebook" (in this case, please replace Linkedin with Facebook, and Facebook with A Small World)

And the winner for our ultimate and most over-used tagline of the summer:

""I'm a freelance blogger slash DJ slash film producer" (a.k.a. I have my own Tumblr and own an iPod)

So no, we never did frolick across the sands with a greased up John Travolta look alike. Sorry, Rachelle. We did pick up some photography and boating skills along the way though. Now all we have to do is start figuring out how to download these sound-bites onto our Blackberries. For future reference, of course.