Twitters Accounts That Will Make You Roll Your Eyes And Pee Your Pants

by Maggie McGlinchy · June 14, 2011

We all know you're already checking your twitter account like 8 million times a day, so go ahead and add these accounts, because we've rounded up the best ones that will make you laugh...or roll your eyes... but most likely both.

[Photo via]

Some of our favorite funny Twitter accounts...

@YesImWaspy tweets:

"In my eyes, 'Half Brother' is just a scientific word for inheritance thief. #YesImWaspy"

"Oh really Dad? You're taking back my credit card? I'm not trust worthy? Well just so you know, that Helicopter was your fathers day gift."

"Where do I summer? Places you, your chest hair and your fucking cologne are not welcome. #YesImWaspy"

@PimpBillClinton tweets:

"I really great beer piss is almost as good as a lackluster orgasm....almost."

"The lack of phone booths has got to be a pain in the ass for Superman. #yeahimhigh"

@NotGaryBusey tweets:

"Thanks to Bing & decide, my Facebook friends can help me decide what porn site to go to."

"No. You being called a celebrity is a practical joke as it is. RT @KimKardashian Do u guys ever prank call people?"

@totalbetchmove tweets:

"Blackberry's broken: betch version of Into the Wild. #totalbetchmove"

"4 Shots + adderall = Diet 4Loko. #totalbetchmove"

"Sugar free Redbull and cigarettes. #lunchofchampions #totalbetchmove"

@sorrynotsorryy tweets:

"just cause one guy calls you hot doesn't mean you're actually pretty in girl world. #sorrynotsorryy"

"i mean, should it be dark out before i'm wrecked? #sorrynotsorryy"

@Jesus_M_Christ tweets:

"Skip Bayless is a douche. This is the word of the Lord."

"Just got back from a conference call with Dad. Idiot still won't let me kill off the All-American Rejects. Trying to do you guys a favor."

"I sometimes show up at the houses of random stoned people just to fuck with them."

@whitegrlproblem tweets:

"Dear Dad, everything's your fault. Love, Me. #whitegirlproblems"

"Is it bad that I just woke up on the floor of a dressing room at Barneys, naked, clutching my Amex, and screaming? #whitegirlproblems"

"I love love love love love love love love doing coke sometimes. #whitegirlproblems"

@Y_U_NOOO tweets:

"P. DIDDY, Y U NO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND FEEL LIKE KE$HA?!"

"RADIATION, Y U NO GIVE ME SUPERPOWERS?"

"#HEYJUSTIN, MILLIONS OF GIRLS WANT U, Y U NO FIND SOMEBODY TO LOVE YET?"

"RED BULL, Y U NO GIVE ME WINGS?"