We all know you're already checking your twitter account like 8 million times a day, so go ahead and add these accounts, because we've rounded up the best ones that will make you laugh...or roll your eyes... but most likely both.
Some of our favorite funny Twitter accounts...
"In my eyes, 'Half Brother' is just a scientific word for inheritance thief. #YesImWaspy"
"Oh really Dad? You're taking back my credit card? I'm not trust worthy? Well just so you know, that Helicopter was your fathers day gift."
"Where do I summer? Places you, your chest hair and your fucking cologne are not welcome. #YesImWaspy"
"I really great beer piss is almost as good as a lackluster orgasm....almost."
"The lack of phone booths has got to be a pain in the ass for Superman. #yeahimhigh"
"Thanks to Bing & decide, my Facebook friends can help me decide what porn site to go to."
"No. You being called a celebrity is a practical joke as it is. RT @KimKardashian Do u guys ever prank call people?"
"Blackberry's broken: betch version of Into the Wild. #totalbetchmove"
"4 Shots + adderall = Diet 4Loko. #totalbetchmove"
"Sugar free Redbull and cigarettes. #lunchofchampions #totalbetchmove"
"just cause one guy calls you hot doesn't mean you're actually pretty in girl world. #sorrynotsorryy"
"i mean, should it be dark out before i'm wrecked? #sorrynotsorryy"
"Skip Bayless is a douche. This is the word of the Lord."
"Just got back from a conference call with Dad. Idiot still won't let me kill off the All-American Rejects. Trying to do you guys a favor."
"I sometimes show up at the houses of random stoned people just to fuck with them."
"Dear Dad, everything's your fault. Love, Me. #whitegirlproblems"
"Is it bad that I just woke up on the floor of a dressing room at Barneys, naked, clutching my Amex, and screaming? #whitegirlproblems"
"I love love love love love love love love doing coke sometimes. #whitegirlproblems"
"P. DIDDY, Y U NO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND FEEL LIKE KE$HA?!"
"RADIATION, Y U NO GIVE ME SUPERPOWERS?"
"#HEYJUSTIN, MILLIONS OF GIRLS WANT U, Y U NO FIND SOMEBODY TO LOVE YET?"
"RED BULL, Y U NO GIVE ME WINGS?"