Well, it's already the first week in August (can you believe it!?) and you know what that means: SHARK WEEEEEEEK! Yes, that's right, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us once again and I couldn't be more excited. I know, I know Shark Week is nothing more than a marketing ploy (well done, Discovery) but it is the greatest ploy ever created and I have no shame in enjoying every second of it. Plus, it's a great excuse to drink every night of the week and not feel bad about it. But there's more to Shark Week than just drinking some beers and watching tv. Here's a guide of what to do this holiday season:
1. Participate in a Shark Week drinking game. We all know you're sitting around the couch drinking some brews anyway, so why not make a game out of it? Go here and here for ideas. My favorite rules include, "Every time they mention the movie Jaws, finish your beverage and scream, 'We're going to need a bigger drink!'" and "Drink every time Andy Samberg is on TV."
2. Rejoice that Andy Samberg is the host for this years Shark Week. This is a gift from the Shark Week gods, so don't be ungrateful.
What a babe...
3. Drink Landsharks. Landsharks are kind of embarrassing, even if you're enjoying (or not enjoying) one in the summer, there's just something kinda queer about them you know? But all those reservations you may have had about drinking Landsharks fly right out the window during Shark Week! But, of course, if you really can't bring yourself to throw back a Landshark, Fosters is a close second. Cheers, mate!
4. Listen to Fins. Speaking of Landshark, why not get even cornier and listen to some Jimmy Buffet? You can totally get away with being this cheesy because Shark Week is so bad ass it all kind of evens out. Listening to Cheeseburger in Paradise however is completely unforgiven. Seriously.
5. Follow Shark Week on Twitter. Did you really think they wouldn't have an account? Think again. Here's their bio:
Jawesome since 1988. Returning July 31 to @Discovery with our first-ever Chief Shark Officer (CSO), Andy Samberg. Happy #SharkWeek!
6. Don't confuse Shark Week with Shark Week. According to Urban Dictionary, Shark Week also means the following:
The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast. Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?" Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"
7. Get into costume. Oh come on, you know you want to! Grab a white tee and throw some red paint on there. Or maybe tear it up for a full effect. Or perhaps a fin headband? Check out this JAWSOME t-shirt! Buy HERE.
Have a jawsome holiday!