Are you concerned that Jersey Shore heroine Snookie and her "brunette mafia" have infiltrated the New York City subway system? Are you interested in watching an all-Snookie spin-off? Do you want to hear her friend's treatise on why "bitches be fake"? Enter Snookie's YouTube channel at your own risk.

Some pointers from the gals:

"Don't ever put a thong picture on your Facebook if you have no f'king ass. You got a bony ass and you fucking wear a thong, [unclear]."

And a chilling portent of the future:

That's right, Snookie wants a spin-off. Also, they were "kicked out of the Jersey Shore." All of it!

Snookie doesn't only flirt with the Oompah Loompah crowd and its roid-shrunken testes. Floppy-balled old people apply too. Here, watch the master apply her subtle charms to a confused old (at the Feast of San Gennaro, natch):

You can also watch videos of funny cats. Unless you're too busy doing this: