"Best $2k I Ever Spent!" Our Shitty L.A. Weather Fashion Index At Dim Mak Tuesdays

by Alex Gilman · December 23, 2010

As everyone in L.A. made aware to the world, our normally picture perfect paradise was slightly more apocalyptic this week. The good news is it didn't stop our bravest ragers from rocking out with enthusiasm. The bad news? Los Angelites haven't a clue how to dress for "weather."

But the second-heaviest period of rainfall in L.A. history certainly wasn't going to stop the Dim Mak Tuesdays at Cinespace crew from celebrating their new limited-edition vinyl release, nor would it stop the homie Mark "The Cobrasnake" Hunter from capturing the madness.

It's just that—and we don't mean to sound overly "mom"-y here—we worry about the health of our precious little party monsters. They're not the stoutest people in the world to begin with, and while we more than admire their dedication to partying rain or shine, pneumonia can put anyone out of commission. So as a public service, we're going to dispense a little helpful advice by ranking a few outfits on the Shitty Weather Fashion Index (SWFI).

Take it away...

Right off the bat, you can see what we're up against. A man-tank that provides almost zero protection against the elements and a small, very short-brimmed hat that won't cover or warm the ears. Unless the key around his neck unlocks the storage room at The North Face factory store, it's safe to say that this guy is not appropriately dressed for the weather. SWFI Rating: 4.3

A little bit better here. Though it's not a raincoat, the jacket can at least keep this guy warmer, but he may want to look into upgrading to a larger size. One word of caution: remember that while Jameson will make you feel warmer, it will not actually make you warmer. It will, however, make you cooler. SWFI Rating: 7.0

If we can see your nipples, then so can Jesus. THIS WEATHER IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! SWFI Rating: 2.2

This outfit presents a pretty serious set of contradictions. Faux-fur coat? Warm but hardly waterproof. Lack of pants? Effective against flooding, sure, but clearly inappropriate for being out in any weather (or in public in general?). Even strippers put on pants when their shift is over. SWFI Rating: 3.8

Could it be? An actual umbrella!? What a sensible young Republican! SWFI Rating: 8.9

I don't care if it's raining, or snowing, or even if liquid fire is pouring down from the sky. This t-shirt is fucking awesome. SWFI Rating: 10.0!!!

[All photos via The Cobrasnake]