All posts related to New Lows on Guest of a Guest for New Lows.
One way to not feel like cat poop during the workweek is to abstain from late night alcohol consumption, but we don't do that, nor do we expect you to, and wholeheartedly support those who dutifully observed National Tequila Day last night and are undoubtedly feeling the pain right now. Hopefully whatever/whoever it is you did/drank last night was worth having a wrecked today. The Mexican spirit tends to bring out a special brand of hammered that is often characterized by an inexplicable urge to get naked, urinating in any place but a toilet, and generally outrageous, horrible behavior. More»
I thought I'd taken in plenty of weird for one Sunday—god's day—between the woman in the tube top exposing her angel wing-tatted upper half at brunch, and later, the post-menopausal woman at CVS struggling to carry more value packs of Stayfree maxi pads to the register than her robust arms could manage. Then again, I wasn't at Urth Caffe on Melrose, which aside from its own daily showcase of yuppie weirdness I tend to avoid because when I pay $15 for a sandwich, I want it to taste like it was made that day. But my sister was, and saw a man with "Baby Love," his Chinese water dragon in repose on his personal fainting sofa, having their own Sunday brunch one table over. Fortunately, she had the presence of mind to take photos and share her truly astounding encounter with Baby Love and his master. More»
There is generally no need to look beyond L.A. for a full dose of horrendously bad decision-making in nightlife. But sometimes you have to venture beyond the Blue States to find something so staggeringly ill conceived that it makes you question the entire concept of nightlife altogether. Today, I'm talking about The Rose Supper Club in Montogomery, Alabama, and their breathtakingly bad idea to celebrate Food Stamp Friday which gives patrons free shots and a reduced cover charge for flashing their food stamps at the door. More»
To say that Hollywood is now safe to drive in is probably an inaccurate statement while Shia LaBeouf still has a license, but at the very least, the arrest of arson suspect Harry Burkhart early Monday morning on Sunset has drivers (er, parkers) breathing a little easier. Burkhart is suspected of starting 53 fires, mostly of parked vehicles, over the last three days, which is a fire-starting pace that would make even Left Eye or Prodigy blush. Because we're sincerely hoping that this arrest will mark the end of the arson terror, here's a quick recap of the dramatic events, with photos. More»
Guys, we're really struggling here to process this one... Earlier this month, the appearance of the tiger from The Hangover at Supperclub was commissioned in honor of a birthday celebration of a Hollywood promoter. Now, riddle me this: why pay a supposed $3k to keep an animal caged outside the party when the club itself is basically an unrestrained zoo filled with feral creatures of the animal kingdom inside? Seems like such a waste, ya know? More»
So here's a true dilemma: you're a chick with a great rack. I know, not too much of a dilemma so far, right? You can get guys to do things for you, like carry your bags, or buy you a drink, or murder somebody with a garden shovel. But here's the thing: sometimes, you've got to get in your fancy white Beamer to drive somewhere. More»
Being a short guy probably has its fair share of frustrations. You can't get on all the rides at Six Flags, you have to spring for the front row at a concert if you want to see anything, and your parents broke your heart the day they had "the talk" with you about your dreams of playing in the NBA. More»
Idiotic displays of school spirit: a tradition as old as education itself! But while we expect a certain degree of inane chanting, light rioting, and tree-poisoning at our nation's state schools, the insufferable eggheads of the Ivy League have long hovered above it all, looking down their upturned noses at the disgraceful enthusiasm of the vulgarian set. They know that having real fun in college involves sophisticated pleasures, like the bawdy revelry of a good Chaucer verse or one or two, but never three, glasses of well-aged Port. A Man of Harvard would never lower himself to splashing the name of his fair alma mater on his body like some skanky plebe from BU, would he? More»
There's no doubt that gender roles are less defined today than they used to be. Between stay-at-home dads, female Secretaries of State, and the legendary pro-wrestler-turned-male-nanny set, we completely salute the concept that there's no right gender for any given job. We do, however, still draw a line at forcing human beings to perform tasks meant for the animal kingdom. All of which brings us to Gladstone's last Friday night, and a poor, decrepit man who has been unceremoniously transformed into a pack mule by what we can only assume is a girlfriend without a conscience. More»
ATTENTION LADIES AND LADIES!: What is going on?! Are you a rude monkey? A neanderthal? Who informed any of you that this type of behavior is at all acceptable? Just kicking off the shoes are we? Is that pavement you're standing on (we pray it's not) or just the filthy floor of the Troubadour rock stars from last FIVE decades have defecated upon? More»
We thought we'd seen it all but this is a moment of true distinction. Just when things seemed like they couldn't get any more woeful in the hot mess that is Mel Gibson's last couple of years on earth, we're delivered this Monday morning nugget. So a huge thank you to him for making my job this easy by deciding to spend his Saturday night at SBE's embarrassment to L.A. and its conception of the Hamptons, The Colony. ...COLONY? On a Saturday a.k.a. official amateur night?! And let's just pause for second here: that tragedy on wheels is still open?? I mean, wow on all fronts; you CANNOT make this type of magic up! Mel, PLEASE inform us of who advised you that this was a good idea, we definitely need to send them a fruit basket of sorts. More»
Wednesday, December 4
Click through for some great insider tips from the \"Swoon\" master herself.