Oh, my God, I've just ended my career!" Her bodyguard was very stern with me."

-Jack McBrayer explains a little incident in which he hit Mariah Carey in the face with a frisbee.

Oh, Kenneth!

[Photo by Kirk McKoy for the Los Angeles Times]

Yes! Finally, a celebrity couple that gets how a wedding should be.  Russell Brand and Katy Perry are going to do it the right way to celebrate their holy matrimony, and it looks like they have all the essentials covered for their special day. It's going to be epic.

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-Sean Combs a.k.a Diddy on his image to The Los Angeles Times

...Is that why you call yourself "Diddy"?

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Okay, so by Miley Cyrus' logic, "Party In The U.S.A." is meaningful and not about partying and clubbing, do we have that straight? So these lyrics:

Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody's lookin at me now
Like "who's that chick, thats rockin' kicks?
She gotta be from out of town"

...aren't exactly what she just described... Must be opposite day.

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Oh, Colin Farrell, we're so glad they let even you on "Sesame Street." It's a new parent's dream come true to have you help teach lessons to their kids.

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-Bruce Willis is putting his foot down [via]

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Sorry, Jessica Simpson, you seem to be a bit confused. That VH1 reality show where you travel the world to learn various cultures' meaning of beauty you hatched up with Papa Joe is not like missionary work. At all. Far from it, in fact. Spreading the Gospel of Vapid Ditziness to the far corners of the earth is kind of like the opposite of missionary work. We're glad you've found your calling in documenting your Global Adventures In Being An Imbecile, however, saying such a thing is insulting to missionaries everywhere but forgivable since you don't know any better.

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"She did amazing songs. She had an amazing sense of style, without a stylist. And she was flawed, and sometimes she admitted it. I'll fight the fight for Madonna. I think she should send me some chocolates or something to thank me."

-M.I.A.

Sing it, sistah! Aside from being a super talented artist who's killing it by doing her own thing and making awesome music, M.I.A.'s got serious cojones and we love her for that. She told it like it is in a recent interview for NY Times Magazine. Those are some pretty bold statements, but true to form, M.I.A. stuck to her guns and wasn't afraid of pissing off an army of fearsome, diehard Gaga fans. And we have to say we totally agree with her. By the way, Madonna ain't sending anybody a box of Godiva.  Maybe some rare macrobiotic bean sprouts, but crude chocolates are out.

[Photo by Ryan McGinley for The New York Times]

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Both the beauty and the bane of the city is summed up by the pioneer of modern American architecture in this statement. More»

Got that, guys? The complete and utter mental collapse of Kelly Bensimon we all saw on last week's epic episode of the "Real Housewives of New York" was not a breakdown, but actually a breakthrough, a moment of clarity and healing.  All of those tragic moments of inexplicable emotion and rattling, nonsensical psychobabble were all part of a healthy process: When she started weeping over the canvas tote bag embroidered with her initials that Bethenny gave her, and cried to Jill on the phone about her nightmares of being murdered by Bethenny, and told Alex she was a vampire, and suggested repeatedly that Al Sharpton was in the room -- she was just having a breakthrough, okay?

Courtney Love unleashed the crazy yet again claiming to have had an affair with none other than Kate Moss.  It's no secret that Kate was high for the better part of the 90s, which is the only reason we think this could possibly be true. But come to think of it, those two should date, they'd make a fantastic couple, like a union of the two titans of hot mess. Got to love how Courtney casually chalks this up to just being how things were at the time, like that's just what everyone did back then. I mean, duh... who didn't hook up with Kate Moss in Milan in the 90s? Keep 'em coming, Courtney.

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