Los Angeles|Celebrities

Charlie Sheen: "Only Addicted To Winning" + Other Awesome Nuggets From Today's Radio Rant

Charlie SheenAre you following the wild adventures of Charlie Sheen? Well here's the latest: he's currently holed up in the Bahamas with two floozies and today called into "The Alex Jones Radio Show" to unleash the cray cray, covering such topics as Apocalypse Now, Chuck Lorre, his new tattoo, Vatican assassins, a comparison of himself to an F-18 pilot, and he had this to say about Thomas Jefferson: "he was a pussy." The nonsensical tirade was like a coked-out tour through the batshit dimension of crazy that probably only Charlie Sheen is privy to, but we'd like to shed a little light on his thoughts about Alcoholics Anonymous. Ready? Okay, here we go...

"I have cleansed myself, I closed my eyes in a nanosecond and cured myself of this ridiculous model of a disease of addiction and obsession. [AA] is just the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning. Ya know, this bootleg cult arrogantly referred to as 'Alcoholics Anonymous' supports a 5% success rate. My success rate is 100%, do the math! Another one of their stupid mottoes is, 'don't be special, be one of us.' NEWSFLASH: I AM special. And I will never be one of you."

So there's that... And so much more if you care to listen the full Charlie call! It will really rock your world so just make sure you're sitting down. I was actually waiting for him to bust out that Will Ferrell line from Talladega Nights where he says, "plain and simple, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence" —I mean, he was teed up perfectly for that! But the part about his success rate and being special will suffice, I suppose. And who are we to judge? This is Charlie's journey and bless his soul for dropping amazing WTF bombs like this for us along the way.

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