The best thing about L.A. is our ability to use the resources available to us. For example, if you already run a weird dinner club known for trapeze-swinging burlesque dancers and creepy ancient Rome-style "midget shows", and then Seth MacFarlane asks you if he can throw a Family Guy/Christmas/Star Wars themed party there, you don't blink. Nope, you just slap some Santa-hat Stormtrooper gear on the dancing girls, get Night Vision Entertainment on board, throw the midget in a Darth Vader getup, hire DJ Vice and Rick Rude, and take it from there.
If any of that previous paragraph seemed odd to you, well, it probably should. Then again, the man who once got his show kicked off the air for "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein" most likely has never seen odd as a bad thing. And somehow, the weird, unrelated parts of this circus kind of came together. Let's take a look:
Some aspects of the party were strictly Christmas- although to Bill O'Reilly's certain dismay, the word "holiday" was generously substituted. Nevertheless, I'm going out on a limb and guessing that these four dapper carolers don't know too many Hanukkah songs.
And besides, I'm Jewish-everyone knows my people are partial to Pepsi-but with Coke (and a very Christian-looking polar bear) as a sponsor, I was more than happy to grab a free aluminum bottle or two. Side note: I love those aluminum bottles, but I really shouldn't. They cost like three bucks for way less soda than you get in a bottle, and they slash your fingers open when the lids are stuck. Yes, kids, there was blood on the dance floor last night.
On the one hand, this should go without saying: it was a Family Guy DVD release party, after all. But plenty of Hollywood-style bacchanals barely pay lip service to the product they're celebrating (I hear the Yogi Bear party was a 21+ Anything But Clothes blowout that ended in the fifth largest orgy of Dan Aykroyd's life), so the fact that they screened clips from both the best holiday moments of the show and the new DVD seemed to keep people at least slightly aware of who was providing the open bar. Plus, there was a photobooth where a full-sized Brian Griffin stood in for Santa Claus.
These girls with their "Adult Chocolate Milk" were apparently also a reference to The Cleveland Show, or some other element of the Family Guy universe. Works for me.
Above all, there was a whole lot of Star Wars at this party. What made this element stand out? Well, how about the lightsaber rave?
Management assured me the little person was fully compensated for his time. Hopefully not with gumballs.
And yes, that's a relatively toasted Chris Evans in the foreground. In fact, if there was one thread to connect these disparate themes of Holidays, Family Guy and Star Wars, it was our good friend alcohol, which led to such memorable events as a girl charging into the men's room to vomit, another falling down the stairs near the back exit/smoking area, and this gem of an interaction between myself and Jerry Ferrara, aka Turtle from "Entourage":
Me: Hey, Jerry, what are your hopes and dreams?
Turtle From Entourage: My what? My hopes and dreams? Um... I'm just here to have a good time, man.
Me too, Turtle From "Entourage". Me too.