Beachwood: Hollywood's Summer "Beach" Party

On Memorial Day weekend you'll be able to get a little taste of the beach, or at least beach party vibes (i.e. drinks and bikinis), without fighting the legendary traffic out to Malibu.  No, we're definitely not referring to The Colony -- that would be absurd. We're talking about Beachwood, the new Saturday pop-up party at the old Cabana Club space.

Beachwood, an outdoor space reminiscent of an L.A. backyard with its grassy floor, made its debut last weekend and will be hosting their weekly Saturday party all summer until September.  The party starts at noon, a perfect time for a leisurely Saturday brunch and bottomless mimosas in one of their cabanas, and goes until 7pm.  Around 2pm the DJ cranks things up and the brunch cabanas become the equivalent of tables at a club with bottle service. Water guns are kicked into the deal for people who shell out for tables, so beware looming snipe attacks.  Did someone say wet t-shirt contest?!

The venue, also features two hot-tubs, a dancefloor, and the Beachwood SPA where guests can take a break from the sun for a massage or haircut.  You might be wondering about a pool. There isn't one. That sounds kind of ridiculous but -- let's be honest -- if there were, most people wouldn't get in it anyway. But guys, don't worry about getting cheated out of one of your favorite pool party elements; trust the girls will be rocking bikinis regardless.

We're not sure how this whole poolless and beachless pool/beach party is going to pan out over the course of the summer but we have a feeling people will be lining up to get in despite its inherent contradictions.  On a total side note, the mental picture of some dude in boardshorts, flip-flops and a fedora freaking out at the woman with the clipboard when she breaks it to him that he's not on the list while his lady stands by in high-heel sandals, a full face of makeup, itty-bitty bikini and sheer cover-up clutching her Chanel bag in broad daylight on Ivar is kind of amazing... Anyway, unlike The Colony's ambitions of capturing the essence of the Hamptons by throwing some sand and seersucker into an SBE club on Cahuenga (god, it's so embarrassing...), it doesn't sound like Beachwood is trying to present itself as something other than what it is: summer party that gives people a non-reason to wear bathing suits and get trashy to kill a Saturday, straight-up Hollywood style.