10 Signs A Girl Needs To Call It A Night At Chateau Marmont

Our own Chateau Marmont has a long and famous history of guests and patrons' outrageous behavior. The storied hotel above the Strip seems to attract, even demand, those who visit abandon the mores of society in order to leave a lasting impression. It's often referred to as the place to go when you want to misbehave. Paz de la Huerta's post-Golden Globes shitshow the other night is just one example that happened to be documented. But we can use her, as well as some of our own footage of New Year's Eve to illustrate the 10 telltale signs of when it's time for a girl partying at Chateau to call it a night:

Go HERE for more photos from NYE at Chateau and tag yourself and your friends!

1. If she can't stand upright and needs to be hoisted up so she doesn't topple over.

i) Also, if she makes the person holding her up fall over with her.

2. If she can't speak whole sentences, distinct words and/or is only capable of slurred, borderline coherent utterances.

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3. If she's sloppy and her friends and everyone who knows her at the bar/party are nowhere in sight for an extended period of time (i.e. the duration of the night) and she seems totally unfazed by this.

4. If she's giving the furniture lap dances.

5. If her boob is completely out of her dress for more than a few seconds (this can happen sober but in those cases is corrected immediately) and she is:

a) Completely oblivious to it.

OR

b) Doesn't care once she becomes aware of it and does nothing about it.

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6. If she's spanking strangers.

7. If she needs to squint to text/is doing the one-eyed text.

8. If she hits on this guy:

9. If the bottom of her dress is above her waist as she straddles someone in a room full of people.

10. If she's knocked out or chipped a tooth, lost her wallet, keys, phone, or entire purse earlier in the night but insists on continuing to party.