Hipster Similarity #1: Gypsies Love Mustaches

This is pure speculation (the Wikipedia entry on "gypsy" is really long and I didn't feel like reading it), but the modern gypsy maintains an aggressive, angular mustache as a visual deterrent, much like the spikes on a blowfish or the coloring of a butterfly. The modern hipster may maintain that their mustache is intended to attract a mate, but statistics prove that the last man to get laid on the basis of his mustache was Tom Selleck in 1985.