Sub Standard With Electric Friends: Winning Or Not Winning?

by Emily Green · March 2, 2011

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Charlie Sheen has taught us so much over the last week aside from why banging 7-gram rocks is a very bad idea if you want to keep your teeth. More specifically, his system of measuring success in life according to "winning". For instance, my friend Michelle Marie was not winning today when she tried to toast a pita on her stove but charred it :( We've applied this winning barometer to the kids we found at the Sub Standard With Electric Friends party on Friday, so let's see which of them were and were not winning.

The one with the bottle is in the process of winning, and her friend won when she put on that turban.

Winning. Actually turbo-winning because Charlie Sheen just asked us for her number.

Mmmk, so she brought an apple into the club. Clearly she doesn't care, so winning. But her friend is embarrassed to be sitting next to someone in a club holding a chewed up apple core. He thinks he has a problem but Charlie says this guy doesn't know what problems are until he picks a fight with a warlock and invites him to meet him in the octagon. He is not winning.

They'd be winning if they weren't matching.

Half-a-second away from winning and knows it.

Oh dear, no winning here. Only losing. And winning will not be possible for any of them as long as they're wearing those button-downs with printed graphics.

She was winning, won, and is now no longer winning.

Justin Bieber is winning.

But she is currently winning the most.