You know that big lot on Sunset in Beverly Hills that seemed like it would never actually be developed into a livable property? Okay, so there have been several that fit that description, but I'm talking about the one that, while driving past, your parents and friends would tell you once held a house displaying obscene pubic-haired statues. You may never have even seen the home while it stood, but you still know that lot as Pube Statue House.
Well friends, after many years of sitting as a dusty, sun-baked tract of primo real estate with nothing but rumors of pubic hair keeping it alive, the ever-vacant lot at 9577 Sunset Blvd. between Alpine and Rexford has finally been developed, now boasting a merciless "Beaux-Arts" behemoth that brings us new meaning to heinous... Dios mio! 36,000 square-feet of limestone pillars, columns, 24karat gilt moldings, more columns, gold-plated doorknobs, even more columns, and marble up the ass on just about two acres of land hit the market for a cool $68.5 million
And for the record, those pube statue stories are totally true. The mansion that once stood on the lot was bought by Saudi Sheik Mohammed al-Fassi in 1978, who undertook an ambitious redecoration of the property. The decor overhaul included painting the classical statuary of human figures, very visible from Sunset, a life-like flesh tone, as well as the addition of genitalia AND pubic hair. It goes without saying that the neighbors were less than thrilled about the new vivid display of human anatomy that spared no detail. But the real victims of Pube Statue House were the innocent passersby. Imagine the trauma experienced by unsuspecting drivers on their way into work who hit that red light at Alpine or Rexford and BOOM: an eyeful of larger-than-life pubes! Not something you ever want to see, let alone before you've had your morning coffee. I don't know about you, but my mornings are best pube-free.
The mansion, along with its graphic statues, burned down in 1980 much to the delight of neighbors, and only now has the lot been restored with a home. Well, with this palatial beast, anyway. Wonder how the neighbors would have felt about living beside this shitteous monstrosity -- maybe pubic-haired statues might not have seemed so bad? But after a 30-year vacancy, it only makes sense that we now have a house with equally offensive features and weep-worthy amounts of marble. And although they no longer grace the busy Beverly Hills thoroughfare, that house, which will invariably attract a buyer with taste as horrid as al-Fassi's, will always be Pube Statue House.
[All photos via Curbed]