With the Spelling Manor in Beverly Hills finally finding someone not only crazy enough to want it, but also rich enough to buy it, I can't help but wonder: what the shit is Petra Ecclestone going to do with 123 rooms? We have to believe that even Candy Spelling had trouble coming up with purposes for each of the completely unnecessary spaces and had to start doubling up on the lamest ones. It's just the only semi-logical explanation I can accept for having multiple gift wrapping rooms, aside from being utterly batshit. [Photo via]
Finding a reason for each of those rooms must be quite the challenge. I actually know this for a fact because I tried. The house has a total of 123 rooms, 27 are bathrooms and 14 are bedrooms so that takes care of 41 of them. With a kitchen or two, a living room, a dining room and a den, that's another 5, but we still have 77 extra rooms. I feel crazy just writing this post right now. Listen to me. I sound insane. I've been thinking about this for days and been trying to get creative but still could only come up with this list of 31 rooms and I'm really reaching with some of them. Here they are:
1. screening room 2. bowling alley 3. indoor pool 4. moonbounce room - the whole room, it's floor, walls and ceiling would be made of moonbounce 5. salon 6. gym 7. spa 8. a green room - an all glass sitting room 9. smush room 10. a grow house 11. psychedelic room - black light, everything in neon 12. indoor stage for live music 13. a 24-hour 7-Eleven 14. wine cellar 15. microbrewery 16. pub 17. game room 18. mini golf course 19. Alice In Wonderland-theme room 20. recording studio - where I'd lay down my tracks with Weezy, duh. 21. Jimi Hendrix room 22. indoor tennis court 23. car shop 24. "Mad Men"-style martini lounge 25. aquariam 26. zoo 27. terrarium 28. library with chess table sets 29. little Havana room - (basically the back patio of La Descarga) 30. arts and crafts room 31. art gallery
Now, here's where it got hard and I found myself doubling like Candy, coming up with things like a John Hughes screening room. This leaves me with 46 spare rooms I would need to figure out a use for. I don't know what they would be and I'd rather not even think about it anymore, but I can tell you what they definitely would not be. Unlike Candy, I would not have a floral arranging room, a doll museum, a gift wrapping room, an entire floor for closet space, and a skating rink. I get why she's nuts. She's not actually, she's just a woman who had to cope with living in that god forsaken manse. Thank goodness she's downsizing to a 16,000 square-foot condo. And congrats to Petra on her new Hyatt.