Dear WeHo, You Have A Major Parking Problem

by Morgan Stewart · April 7, 2011

OK! Only got 10 minutes (gotta beat the meter maid to my parking spot) to say what NEEDS to be said, West Hollywood, so LISTEN UP: Pretty sure I'm nowhere near alone in saying that, you truly are the biggest pain in the ass. You are a tourist destination, and you know it. You're also a heavily trafficked and highly desirable area to live/work/eat/play for locals. Yet you make it pretty much damn near impossible to PARK ANYWHERE. Please don't think this is an exaggeration on my part by any means, but it seems as if you aren't lucky enough to have one of those blue handicapped placards or shelling out a cool $20 for a parking lot you, my friends, are S.O.L.

Let's keep in mind I am writing this very crucial rant with about five minutes left until, I have to physically get up and move my vehicle, due to the fact that it's sitting at a very useless thirty minute meter. Why must you put all of us through this, WEHO? WHY?!

Now that we're on this topic specifically, who does anything in under thirty minutes anyway? If one really needs to hop into Starbucks to get their daily Chai, wouldn't they park in passenger loading? Is that not what it's provided for? See how nothing about this situation makes sense? I find myself more confused now than when I started this necessary form of expression. We can't even get into (well, at least not while remaining even-tempered when explaining our thoughts) the horrendous thing that is known as the meter maid. This creature that seems to thoroughly enjoy making your day just a little bit worse. We can't recall how many times we've had a run in with one of these merciless "human beings", a cool 30 seconds after our time was expired and trust me, after much pleading, they did not budge. Straight slapped that ticket on my windshield like I had taken their daughter's virginity.  WEHO: it's time to get it together! I speak for myself and all the tranny hookers (you should see the fake lashes I'm about to to bust tonight!) occupying the area, LET US PARK!