Guess what, everyone? You don't have to hide from your tasteless, obnoxious urges and crude parlance anymore. At least not if it's your birthday! After coming across one of the more uncouth and generally objectionable birthday party invites to that of a local, it hit us: birthdays are the ideal time to flaunt your douchery to the world, even the cool, hip thing to do these days!

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Take a cue from L.A. nightlife impresario, Tomik, whose recent birthday bash prompted the invitation that brought about this revelation. Rather than a civilized dinner with friends or a night on the town with his best wingmen, Tomik did what any self-respecting Hollywood promoter would do and took the high road, inviting nearly 4,000 of his nearest and dearest for a proper blowout at new Hollywood "hotspot" MyStudio. That's right, a new, big, trendy spot that attracts the requisite Ed Hardy-loving crowd is clutch. [Photo via UrbanDaddy]

For the invite, go with your gut and do something exceedingly tacky. Tomik did it right, with a picture of himself square on the flyer sporting his signature soul patch, Sonic the Hedgehog spikes, and of course, big designer sunglasses.  A personal note from the birthday boy to the lucky thousands who received the coveted invitation was the perfect finishing touch:

It's that time again.... my birthday!! This Thursday, July 8th @ MyStudio <=-P Guys, come early. Girls, make your Planned Parenthood appointments for Friday morning. If you are allergic to Latex, this might not be the party for you ; ) But seriously, we would LOVE to see you all there! Show Tomik you care ♥

See what we mean? Referring to oneself in the third person is always a great way to address a crowd when the goal is to let out your inner douchelord. And don't be afraid to get offensive. People loooove that! Who wouldn't want to go to this birthday??!