The Colony: A History Of Dreams (Of Fighting A Celebrity) Come True!

by Alex Gilman · August 24, 2011

    Was The Colony built on an Indian burial ground or something? For a place with such a poncey Hamptons theme, SBE's strangely celeb-happy tourist trap is seeming even less Montauk and more Seaside Heights, what with the amount of drunken brawls and police interventions we've seen as of late. The latest entry in the encyclopedia of sloppy awfulness comes courtesy of star-faced rapper The Game, who stands accused of punching a man in the face late last night. Let's review video of last night's scuffle and brush up on those that came before it.

    TMZ got their hands on some video that doesn't show Game throwing any punches, but given the malevolent spirits that haunt any and all who set foot inside Colony, we'll assume something bad went down. In case you need a little refresher, here's a crash course on what's been going down on the wrong corner of Cahuenga and Hollywood the last few months:

    The Game Does His Ronnie Impersonation

    Captured late last night, this dramatic video contains a lot more drunken posturing (The Game is clearly HAMMERED) than it does fighting, but there's no question that a punch could easily have been thrown before or after this was filmed. In true "Jersey Shore" fashion, this is one of those idiotic, alcohol-fueled fights that could really be easily stopped at any time, except that everyone involved is too drunk/stupid to do so. Bonus points for the girl who keeps yelling at Game to stop ("Jayceon" is his real name) but may or may not also be the one filming, and double bonus points for the fact that Game couldn't even stay out of trouble for one week after overloading the Sheriff's Department switchboards.

    [video via TMZ]

    The Naked Taser Ballet

    Now here was a fight for the ages: a psychotic, extremely taser-happy bouncer, a few shirtless guys, a raging girl-brawl on the side, some very painful-looking electro-shocks, and nonplussed Hollywood drivers weaving around the chaos as if it were routine road work. One has to again wonder what horrors went down inside of Colony to cause it to spill outside like this, but it is the safest bet you've ever made that cocaine was involved. Check out our full writeup, and a link to the video here.

    Mel Gibson Has A Secret Bar Mitzvah Party

    Yes, I know ol' Mel is kind of famous for not being a big fan of the Hebrews, but he must have felt secretly called to the Torah. How else would you explain a party this well-lit, awkward, and lame? I've been to my fair share of Bar Mitzvah parties, and this, my friends, is a Bar Mitzvah party. At The Colony. And on Saturday night, no less. No wonder we originally included it as a 'New Low.'

    But, Mel, seriously- mazel tov, buddy. Find a safe place to keep all those $100 Savings Bonds, and go easy on the grenadine.

    Ron Artest Breaks Up A Brawl

    Ok, so technically this one happened outside of Playhouse, but that's right around the corner, so there's no way of knowing whether these two were just catching some residual bad vibes. In any event, one man who seems to be immune to bad mojo these days is Mr. Metta World Peace himself, who earned that name by playing peacemaker for a drunken couple who were about to get themselves thrown in jail.

    Ron is clearly a changed man since the Malice In The Palace, and we applaud his heroic actions here, but for his own sake, we'd recommend that he put a little more distance between himself and The Colony in the future. It's not a knock on him; that place just does strange things to people.

    [photo via]