"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" UK's Creamfields 2010 Teaches Us How To Move Our Faces

by SUSANNAH LONG · May 5, 2010

Creamfields may be a massive dance music festival, but the most flexible things on display seemed to be the concertgoers' facial muscles. We'll tell you how to duplicate their wondrous expressions.-

As dance crews played on four stages, there wasn't a poker face among the thousands of fans. Everyone wore their heart on their face; we should learn a lot from such openness. Here's how to recreate those looks at home.

Simply imagine the delight of pointing a giant foam finger at your pal's caboose. The anime smile will appear automatically.

Wear a white tank and stand with other people wearing white tanks so that you feel as if you are a polar bear cub in a cuddleheap with other polar bear cubs.

Open your mouth as wide as you can. Have a trusted friend Xenia Onatopp you with her thighs until she cuts off the blood flow.

Visualize a Spielberg reveal-scene.

Clear your mind completely.

Lick the air as if you are delicately tasting a pudding cup.

Left to right: Think of hugs. Think of nausea. Think of inmate ancestors.

Imagine yourself in a cherry battle.

Rock head vigorously from side to side. Hope for a hot face.

Right: Raise eyebrows and pull back corners of mouth in a beauty queen imitation. Left: Freeze your expression so as not to give away the hatred eating you from within.

Let crunk friend scrape your face with a blade. Realize you have to sneeze. Do what comes naturally with your facial muscles.

Cock your head to the side and concentrate on breast-confidence.

Open your mouth. Close your eyes. Pretend your teeth need to fly away.

Smile as big as you can while humming "We are the Champions" to yourself.

Raise one eyebrow and part your lips slightly. Imagine that you are a skeptical robot.

Is your face tired? Try a lower-impact profile pose.

Or stand far away from others and mask your features with smoke.

Or you can always turn your back and keep on rocking.

[All photos courtesy of The Cobra-Snake]