New York|Celebrities

James Franco: Actor, Student, Soap Star... Author?

Oh, James Franco. You just love to puzzle your adoring public, don't you? You make a string of hit movies, then move to NYC to study at Columbia and NYU. You star on General Hospital for the purpose of... performance art. And now you're a published author.

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The latest activity the actor (remember that's your original job, James!) has added to his repertoire is short story author. Esquire has just published his tale titled "Just Before the Black", which is about the moment right before you die. Wow, so deep and artsy!

Read it at Esquire right now if you want, but we can save you the trouble: underneath sporadic droppings of the F-bomb and insults like lardass, there isn't much to this story. It's mostly been published to please the ego of Manhattan's It Boy.

SPOILER ALERT! If you don't want to know how the story ends, skip this paragraph, but we just have to comment. The narrator has a moment of clarity and decides to drive down the opposite side of the highway. It's all very Nicole Richie circa 2006.

James! You are a brilliant thinker, great actor and a Gucci model (lest we forget)!! We're not experts in literature by any means, so maybe this is completely genius and we are just too ordinary to realize it? But we are willing to venture that's not the case...

Keep working on it, though. Apparently, he's heading off to Yale in September (much to the dismay of all females in NYC), so maybe he will have time to work on his passion. Until then, stick to the stoner flicks and perfume ads, please!