Lindsay Lohan's latest gig is filming a Vanderpump Rules-esque show at her Mykonos hot spot, Lohan Beach House. And apparently, she's supposed to be the Lisa Vanderpump of the show, which is already a little...WTF. Because besides the fact that they look like they're the same age, Lisa Vanderpump and Lindsay Lohan couldn't be more different. Still, as someone whose paycheck comes largely from talking shit about Vanderpump Rules, I could not be more excited.
On the Lohan Beach House Instagram, two employees were posing in their uniforms, which are essentially silk bathrobes. Both of them were wearing heels, but the one on the right was wearing nude heels and the other was wearing...well, I don't know what the hell she was wearing. Either way, they didn't match. And of course Lindsay saw the opportunity to call them out for their unprofessionalism in the most unprofessional way possible: Instagram comments.
I mean, on one hand, that's not exactly a bad uniform. So it's really not a big deal to work in matching heels that are equally chic, especially if you get that plastic surgery that makes wearing heels a breeze. I still have nightmares about the ugly yacht club polos and tuxedo shirts I had to wear while waitressing.
But on the other hand, seriously, Lindsay? Remember what a nightmare you were to work with? You cost studios millions of dollars holding them up by not showing up to set and acting like a crackhead when you finally did. Obviously you were going through some dark shit at the time, so we understand, but surely going through that dark shit instilled some empathy and perspective in you. Enough empathy and perspective to know that your employees not wearing matching heels isn't worth publicly lambasting and threatening them over.
Is this what Lisa Vanderpump would do? No. It's what season three Kristen Doute would do. We all remember how Lisa literally never fires everyone and when she does, she almost always rehires them even though they don't deserve mercy (full offense, Jax Taylor and James Kennedy).
Should these girls get fired for their shoe choices? No, unless their role is being the Scheanas of the show. Then fire them as publicly as possible so I can laugh at their ugly, overly Botoxed crying faces. But as someone who waitressed for six years, am I angry about Lindsay Lohan treating her employees poorly on such a public level? Also no. Because I write about reality television and smutty celebrity gossip for a living! Inject this shit into my veins, bitches!
[Photo via @lindsaylohan]