What Your Ivy League Says About You

Before you went to Brown, you were all about tanning, shopping, and celebrity gossip. But then once you got there, your entire worldview and wardrobe changed. You alienated your high school sweetheart and your crew back home because of how politically correct you became and your personal hygiene has taken a backseat. You are all about protesting your adorable little face off and fighting the man. Some would say it's because your hippie dippy lifestyle was an eye opening experience, others say it's a coping mechanism because your best friend died in a fiery car crash because of a jilted bad boy. You and a friend got in trouble for freeing a bunch of bunnies from a laboratory because you thought they were running abusive tests on them, when really, they were observing the bunnies to better understand their socialization patterns. Your accomplice throws you under the bus, and you get suspended for the rest of the year. But at least you got an adorable bunny out of the whole debacle! You end up back home, and eventually take a gap year (and this time, it's of your own volition) to travel to colleges across the country to encourage them to vote.

Okay, I'm literally just describing Summer Roberts from season four of The O.C. I actually named my bunny that I kept illegally in my dorm freshman year of college after her bunny! I grew up an hour away from Brown and know people who went there yet I really don't have anything to say about it - not that that's a bad thing. You might as well go to Middlebury, which is just as filled to the gills with rich kids, crunchy kids, and #woke kids, but with a fuego quidditch team. I mean, Brown had Hermione fucking Granger attend and they still don't have a legit quidditch team.

Okay, so now I know what you're known for. You're the Emma Watson Ivy. 

[Photo via @brownu]