Everything You Need to Know: The Fixie
Having just read a great post from The Cajun Boy on the Emo Douche, I thought I was only fitting to educating our readers on the fixie, the bike of choice for Hipsters, The Emo Douche, and The Messenger Douche. The fixie is a fixed gear bike with no gear ratio (i.e. the pedals always turn in the direction of the wheel, so you can't coast and you are always pedaling). In order to stop a Fixie, the rider generally applies pressure backwards on the pedals in order to slow the bike down (many fixie riders don't even put on hand breaks on their bike). This is cause for considerable confusion, given the fact that fixies are used by multiple types of douches in urban environments, places where quick breaking is essential.
How exactly the fixie rose to cult status is about as unclear as why the emo douche exists. You may have seen fixie riders before at stop lights, trying to balance while still standing on the pedals, and showing off their sweet fixie riding skills. Fixie riders often have large amorphous ugly plastic messenger bags, spacers in their ears, some don cycling caps to further stand out, and they usually roll up part of their Dickies pant leg so as not to get caught in the chain. Fixie riders also enjoy walking around with abnormally large chain locks for their bikes, a form of urban peacockery.
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Luckybastard
October 1, 2008
9:29pm
Don't hate the bike, hate the rider. But only if he's a douche nozzle. The bikes are simple, cheap and fast as hell...but really should have breaks
Your Eventista
October 2, 2008
2:31am
I just saw about 10 of them yesterday in front of Angels and Kings where a Real World: Brooklyn episode was being shot (don't ask!!) I hate these backward pedaling brakes- tried it once years ago and it scarred me to death! But with that aside the bike seem pretty cool-even for non-douche
anonnymouse
November 1, 2008
3:52am
i second luckybastard, hate the douche riders, not the bike or the riders who genuinely love the feel of riding a fixie. ditch the dickies, huge bag, huge lock and tiny cock, and then bring something of your own to the fun. its in the fun, not the cliches. stuff the cliches
lanny webbin
November 12, 2009
4:44am
you know, i ride a ten speed, and i have a "single gear" (one gear only, but you can coast the pedals) and i personally am annoyed by some of the bike culture. i would be considered a hipster for sure, but i don't subscribe to the balancing act, the run the light early (synonymous with fixie douches) the not so comfortable messenger bag, and the stupid over-sized chain worn as a bullet belt over one shoulder. but my biggest pet peeve is the kids who think they're cars when they don't have to. i've gone on tons of club/group rides, and we tend to take over the street for safety reasons when there's a few hundred riders, or enough to warrant it. but if you need to feel empowered, don't then go and take the road over the next 6 months by yourself. totally gives us cool hipsters a bad name. typically it's the younger, newer kids. and you can get hurt trying to prove something. ps. wear a helmet! anyway, with that said....go buy a bike, and get out of the petrol burning race. i'd rather fund cannondale than exxon.
trout
November 17, 2009
9:53pm
OMG it's spelled BRAKE you douch-nozzles.
anon
February 11, 2010
6:40am
not to mention that the bike in the photo actually has a brake.
QualityKNots
May 23, 2011
3:11pm
Cheers for the expert advice, fixies have a "gear ratio" they don't have a freewheel which allows you to coast.