Some Jules Kirby broad was mistakenly included in a "celebrity" guide to New York in which the "stars" dish on city secrets. Her obscure gems include Ray's pizza, shopping at Bergdorf and art at the Met! Just don't ask her about ethnic people or their stinky food.

Kirby describes herself as a stylist, boutique owner and "futurist philanthropist." Because she's totally planning on going to some Met gala in 2013. Speaking of the Met, it's her favorite museum! Which is fine, except the thrust of these Haute Secrets "celebrity" profiles is to spill some, you know, secrets.

Other under-the-radar locales Kirby mentions? Ray's Pizza, Central Park, 21 Club, Barney's and tourist and theme restaurant-clogged 57th Street (her all around favorite spot in the city). As for ethnic restaurants, somewhat universally considered one of the greatest opportunities living in New York affords you:

"I am not one for ethnic food in the city. May we switch the question to best sandwicherie? Alidoro on Sullivan."

That's pretty shameful, but not much worse than this bit of Palin-esque evasion when answering a question about her favorite local cultural event:

"I can't possibly put my finger on one. The only reason I have been able to stay put are all the happenings around town."

By the way, a Google search for Jolika, the French "ethical-clothing" boutique she professes to own, failed to find an official website, catalog, address or any links to merchandise. The only mentions of the store, in fact, came from local blogs like Paper, Park Avenue Peerage and, yes, Guest of a Guest. (Fun fact: type Jules Kirby into the Google search bar and the first auto-result is "jules kirby arrested.")

If Jolika does exist (send us a link and we'll give it a plug) Jules might want to treat the ethical clothes better than she did a certain dress she wore last year and allegedly returned to the lender in burned shreds. We had a post, including pictures, of this incident, but removed it when Kirby threatened to sue us. Her dad's a lawyer, so we complied! You can see pictures of the dress and details of her arrest on JulesKirby.com, which I'm assuming Jules doesn't manage herself.

It's a sad day when a native New Yorker (so she says), "established member of of New York's high society" and "internationally famous" icon like Jules comes off as a mildly informed arriviste from Des Moines. Jules claims to have spent her whole life "except for summers and some traveling" in New York City. But by the looks of things, she's been on permanent vacation.