Put on your best animal print getup and get your game face on. It's Barney's semi-annual warehouse sale and things have taken on a serious Animal Planet like atmosphere. Yours truly, along with my brave intern Jenna, ventured into the savage warehouse on West 17th and here is a re-cap of our safari...
First of all, be careful out there. It is a dangerous terrain with many predators, and don't underestimate the hunter next to you. Take this woman for example. Tattooed in leopard print (fittingly), she will give you a forearm shiver like you wouldn't believe, should she spot a tasty looking pair of zebra print Manolo's across the aisle.
Pictured Left: A pack of hungry lions descends on a zebra carcass. Pictured Right: NY women ravenously scavenging through bins of bags and accessories. Notice the similarities?
Here are a couple helpful maneuvers vital for survival should you choose to venture into the jungle:
1. The Swim Move. This hunting technique can be high reward in getting to that Chanel tweed jacket before the rest of the pack. It can also be high risk should you accidentally smoke grandma in the head.
2. The Claw. Use this technique when needing to ward off other predators from attempting to steal your Fendi find from your shopping bag. The key is to appear as threatening as possible and let those other shoppers know who's king of the jungle. See demonstrations below for examples. Intimidating right? Well, maybe just me. Really, Jenna? That is the most intimidating face you could muster?
3. The Prey-Stalking Technique. This maneuver can be very useful for those of you who are looking to pounce on that Marc Jacobs bag from last season as soon as home-girl puts it back on the rack. To complete this technique successfully, simply hide in the brush near your prey and stalk until the right moment to devour.
Good luck and happy hunting!