A Hater's Guide To Hipster Culture

by ANTHONY NATOLI · October 9, 2009

[All photos by Nicky Digital] Record labels ALIFE and DIM MAK hosted their "Cloak and Dagger" party at Santo's Party House on Thursday, an event that attracted some of New York's hipster elite to Tribecca for some drunken debauchery.  Although the party looked like fun, I feel compelled to hate on some of the uber-hip guests for the way they choose to appear in photographs and in general.  Confused? Here are some visual examples to help illustrate my point...

Exhibit A: The girl from The Ring

This is creepy.  I guess I'm a loser, but I tend to shy away from parties where pale twenty something demon chicks are lurking around staircases grabbing peoples' ankles.  Someone please help this young lady off of the ground and direct her back to her well before she turns someone's face into gook.

Exhibit B: Magicians

Don't get me wrong, I love a good magic show, but I'm not sure Santo's is the best place to showcase your skills as an illusionist, unless you're planning on levitating your way into V.I.P. in which case you could probably still do without the spirit fingers...

Exhibit C: Pirates

Aaaaaaarg! Who invited the privateers? Hurry everyone, hide your booty!

Well I'm glad I could get some of these things off of my chest and I hope I didn't hurt too many feelings with all of my constructive criticism.  To all the Hipsters out there, keep being the ridiculous, unaware people you are so that I can always have something to write about.  Thanks.