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From Our Inbox, "But How Do I Get In???"

How do i become this guy?Hi Rachelle, my name is Matt and I use the guest of a guest website all the time to find out about hot parties and celebrity filled events, but one concern I have is how do I get in???? sometimes the info on the website will say invite only, despite this I have tried to go to some of the parties and was turned down by the strict guest-list policy...

I just wanted to know if you or anyone on the GoG team have any suggestions or key things I can say to ensure that I get into these exclusive parties.

Sincerely,
-Matt

Read my response to "Matt" below:

Matt,

You are not the first person to voice this concern, one that, I imagine EVERYONE, save for the children of famous people, (and perhaps even them at least once in their life we would like to believe) has had. Unfortunately, there is little I can personally do to ensure that you will be solidified into the weave of this fabric of NYC tastemakers, socialites, fameballs and nightlife shakers. That will be up to you. In the meantime I can offer some advice

"INVITE ONLY" means "INVITE ONLY"

Now, we opt to include these events in our calendar for a couple of reasons. First, we believe it's fun to know what's going on in your city, even if you didn't get an invite. Case in point: most of our readers, we imagine, were not at the Standard Hotel with Marc Jacobs last night because that would mean our site had only 100 or so readers, and we would NOT be in business! However, don't you LIKE to know that it was the Marc Jacobs after party anyway? It's fun to have that awareness of your city.

That being said, I would NOT suggest trying to go to an INVITE ONLY party that you are not invited to, just like you wouldn't want someone coming to crash a dinner or bday party you were throwing at your house. Many of these event organizers  and PR firms spend several weeks preparing for their event, and having to deal with you outside trying to crash it isn't exactly going to leave the best impression. No,you should work to actually GET invited to stuff. How?

First check out this post we did awhile ago and do the opposite of everything we suggested.

[How To Get Invited To Parties, A Step-By-Step Guide]

If you are a girl wishing to be a socialite:

You might consider taking advice from those that came before you. Olivia Palermo didn't show up out of nowhere. She had to put her time in like everyone else (hello Blue and Cream store events with Brad Leinhardt!) In fact, we put together this handy little guide:

[How To Become A NYC Socialite]

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If you are just your average guy/girl:

There's still some pointers from the above mentioned guide to be taken. Namely #7: Play up your unique traits. People that have something to offer a party are usually the ones that get invited. Press people especially. If you're not much of a writer, try becoming friends with them. Figure out what kind of parties you would like to be invited to and then pick your poison:  BlackBook, Stlye.com, Refinery29, Stylecaster, Gawker, NYMag, Nylon Mag, Paper Mag; and, of course GofG. Get to know a writer's work and shoot them a message. Writers LOVE hearing from their readers, it makes them feel better about the lifestyle they've chosen. Here. I'll even toss out a good one to start stalking: Fosterkamer@gmail.com

see. easy peasy.

If you can't find a writer to stalk, try going the PR route. There are dozens of girls out there looking for your attention.

Also, average guys in their 20s (which I'm going to assume you are, Matt), are at the bottom of the food chain here in NYC. Don't worry though, continue crushing it at JPMorgan and your time will come to be on top be able to buy your way into places. In the meantime, start trying to hang out at places where you have a better chance of meeting people to help your cause.

  • Check out the "Hot Spots" of Fashion week 2010 [HERE]
  • Find out where the straight Harvard Guys spend their time [HERE] (the girls are sure to follow)

Be Patient

Rome wasn't built over night. Building up your social standing takes time, and effort. If you're still desperate, you may want to see how these fashion week party crashers got in [video HERE]. (Confidence seems to be the resounding factor to success).

Finally, try dating someone with some social muscle. Take it from Stephen Keefe who wrote a beautiful expose on the life and times of a "Plus One:

[The Life And Times Of A "Plus One," An Expose]

I hope this helps. Keep us updated and continue reading our newsletter for the hottest events going on each night!

Sincerely,

-R