Candwich: In their words, it's "an innovative sandwich product for grab-and-go convenience"." In our words, "it is disgusting and unnecessary to put a sandwich in a can. " -

Their Words: "Candwich is the perfect product for people on the go such as students, construction workers, soccer moms, and outdoor enthusiasts."

Our Words: Really can't imagine a New York City construction worker catcalling at a hot girl, then cracking open a can of sandwich.

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Their Words: "Unique packaging offers convenience and protection while backpacking, camping, biking, and other activities."

Our Words: Sandwiches are not fragile; they do not need protection while backpacking.

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Their Words: "Easy Store Display-does not require refrigeration."

Our Words: Uhm, we WANT our BBQ Chicken Sandwiches to require refrigeration!

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Their Words: "Candwich has a long shelf life that is perfect for emergency food storage needs in the event of natural disasters."

Our Words: It would take a natural disaster to get us to eat a candwich.