The Doormat Scale. We're struggling, are you: a horrible idea? An amazing idea? Maybe bad, but in a good way?

We're going for a little of column #2 and #3, mainly because of entertainment value. What better way to make your guests feel welcome than by basically calling them fat before they even slice themselves a Brie sliver from your immaculately laid hors d'oeuvres?

It is sort of practical around the holidays, for all parties involved. Guests will feel inclined to eat less and thus there's a smaller chance they'll start out the New Year feeling like bloated heiffers, and hosts won't be totally cleaned out by gorging party goers. Come on, when you entertain do you not hope that you'll be without leftovers, but when hungry friends clean house aren't you like, "Damn I bought the good cheese and now I can't grill up a tartine in the morning?"

Everyone thinks like this, right?