New York Rains On Its Parades

by BILLY GRAY · June 11, 2010

First the NYPD cut all parade routes by 25%. Then Sunday's Puerto Rican Day Parade grand marshal dropped out after it was revealed he'd served time for domestic abuse. Now pampered Village people--the irony!--are fussing about the Gay Pride Parade. The po-po scaled back parade revelry in February, citing money and resources saved by the buzzkill. Routes shrunk 25% and parade times were capped at 5 hours.

Wily parade organizers made peace with the changes and rejiggered their plans. But the bad news had just begun.

Telenovela star Osvaldo Rios brought some bad soap opera juju to the PR parade when organizers announced him its leader despite a lengthy history of domestic abuse. After righteous protests, he gave up the baton and hobbled off his prime float. Luckily J. Lo agreed to unshackle Marc Anthony for an afternoon. His reanimated corpse will be the main sashayer along Sunday's route (which only lost 16% of its ground).

But hey, Puerto Ricans don't have all the bad luck. West 9th Street sticks-in-the-mud have raised a stink about the rerouted Gay Pride Parade on June 27th. The aforementioned 25% cut forced that parade off commercial West 8th and onto the narrower, more residential block up, home to Important Rich People like Uma Thurman and Barbara Bush. Seems residents are concerned about the threat the parade's foot traffic poses to the precious flora outside their palatial townhouses. Note that this is the first time anyone has actually feared the effect gay men will have on their home design.

Parades have never floated everyone's boat. You're likely to find a parade a loud, annoying hassle unless of course it's the one or two you join. But at this point I think most would agree they deserve something to cheer about.

Photo via FailBlog