Welcome To The Age Of The Toilet Paper Thirst Trap

Save for perhaps some of the darkest regions of Pornhub, toilet paper has never quite been what most people would call sexy. Until now.

In addition to forcing us inside, shutting down businesses, and um, providing everyone with a serious health threat, coronavirus is responsible for yet another thing we never wanted or asked for: toilet paper thirst traps.  

Thanks to Karens across the world emptying shelves and battling it out for two-ply at Costco, the once-relegated-to-the-bathroom essential has been popping up more and more on Instagram, with influencers flaunting the newly hot commodity like they would an obnoxious diamond-encrusted watch. And because it really is the end of the world, they've all been naked while they do it for some reason. I mean, I get that everyone's looking for a quarantine buddy right now, but is this actually the prop we're going with to entice people?

It's worth noting that most of these toilet paper posers have been extremely buff men, which I'm sure must say something about society that I'm honestly too defeated to figure out right now. Sigh.

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Coronavenus 🧻
A post shared by Leonardo Corredor (@leonardocorredor) on Mar 16, 2020 at 12:43pm PDT

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MAMA we made it!!! #toiletpapercrisis #toiletpaperapocalypse #toiletpapergate #toiletpaper #coronavirus #australia
A post shared by Ali 🇭🇲 (@daredevilfitness) on Mar 5, 2020 at 3:14pm PST

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When she finds out you’re home alone with a years supply of toilet paper 🤷‍♂️🤗🥰
A post shared by Jackson O'Doherty (@jackson_odoherty) on Mar 14, 2020 at 10:07am PDT