"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" The Life Cycle Of The North American Party Kid

by SUSANNAH LONG · June 9, 2010

    Those long, epic nights of partying and drinking and falling down and getting up and getting arrested can seem as if they last whole lifetimes. In fact, the party baby's entire life, from birth to departure for that great big dance floor in the sky, seems to be illustrated by the night's events . . .

    Nursing.

    Childish ploys for attention.

    Summer camp!

    First Love.

    Ongoing exploration of sexual identity. Prom date stands awkwardly in the background.

    College, which bears a suspicious resemblance to summer camp.

    Uh oh. The angsty, lost post-college years, where you're wet but you can't find a towel.

    Party-heavy 20s and 30s.

    Brief midlife crisis and new-age spiritual quest for spirit animal.

    Husband leaves and takes up with two sorority sisters.

    Kids are uncontrollable, irritating, and keep whining for their absent father.

    The twilight years as an elderly statesman.

    [All photos courtesy of KirillWasHere.com]