BBC World recently reported on the newest player in the NY dating scene: PocketChange, a company dedicated to satisfying the whims of the uber-wealthy. Without missing a beat, PocketChange seizes every opportunity to capitalize on the superficiality, insecurity and pretension (“Nothing is out of bounds. Except, of course, anything outer-borough.”) of New York and L.A.’s elite. This now includes a speed dating service that specializes in finding young blood for rich cougars. The project, Natural Selection Speed Date II: Sugar Mamas & Boy Toys, is the feminized sequel to PocketChange’s oft talked about Rich Guys & Hot Girls.

While I would love to post the clip, the protectionist wankers at BBC World disabled embedding. You can find the clip here, but this is basically the deal: Female eligibility is based on age and net worth. In order to use the service, a woman must be aged 35+ and meet one of four rather outrageous financial criterions. The men, by contrast, need only be young and pretty. While I find this particular manifestation of our changing social order EXTREMELY amusing – almost as amusing as Japanese host clubs – I have to wonder why any wealthy individual, male or female, would sign up for something like this. At these shows, the individual may be the opener, but their net worth is the headliner. Prenups may help secure premarital assets, but alimony, marital assets and child support are always up for grabs. My point is that these particular individuals should really (REALLY) want to find someone who is not in it for the money. The stakes are high; if divorce is in the cards, these people will have to pony up either way. If you were that fabulously wealthy, wouldn’t you want to keep it that way? Wouldn’t you want the odds in you favor? And if so, wouldn’t that mean not swimming in the shark tank? Clearly, these people need to pay someone a lot of money to do some serious life coaching. Even more clearly, I am totally their girl.