Seven Awesome Rumors About The Alleged David Paterson Scandal

by guestofaguest · February 5, 2010

So apparently the New York Times is doing a huge expose on Governor David Paterson, and some shocking stuff is gonna come to light. (You couldn't let the National Enquirer have the limelight, could you, NYT?) So what could the scandalous announcement be? Here are some possibilities...-

The New York Times Paterson Expose will be shocking, because they will announce that...

1. "He Can See!"

The whole blind schtick? He just did it for the sympathy votes.

2. "He Slept With Tiger Woods!"

But then again, who hasn't?

3. "He's Padma's baby daddy"

4. "He Balanced The Budget!"

The most improbable rumor of all...

5. "Harold Ford Is His Son"

6. "He will be skiing moguls at the Vancouver Olympics"

Hey, we know he likes hitting slopes.

7. "He will be given a lifetime achievement award at the Oscars next month."

For pretending to have a clue about what he's doing in Albany.

-Compiled by The only employees in the Guest of Guest office on a Friday Afternoon