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Making an entrance

Before stepping foot into this Midtown brasserie, we imagine there will be a bouncer with crew-toned arms and a classic crew cut (the Harvard clip, of course) surveying exactly who makes the cut. They don't want mere peasants coming in just to gasp at the outrageous prices and take pictures, right? After a breathalyzer survey to ensure you haven't consumed carbs, dairy, gluten, or a single GMO within the past 72 hours, you'll be asked to share your social media stats to ensure you're truly worthy of purchasing a detoxifying smoothie. Less than 5,000 Instagram followers? Forget about it. And they better not find out you're passé enough to be on Facebook. They may ask to see your LinkedIn to validate you went to a Founders League boarding school or an Ivy League, but then they'll reject you for having a LinkedIn in the first place. It's a trick question, so always be on top of your game!

[Photo via @poloralphlauren]

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