Mutts Make the Best Accessories

I have been spending a lot of time in Hoboken lately. Lots of great stuff in Hoboken, along with a high concentration of yuppies, baby carriages, and dogs. Coming from the UES, I’m beginning to wonder … Is this our inevitable fate? Yuppies, baby carriages, and dogs? And if so, the real question is: purebred or a mutt?

But first, our inevitable fate. Especially if you are white, yuppie, and harbor few if any principled objections to the canine disposition (some believe that dogs lack emotional depth), it is likely that one day a pooch will share in your living space. The question then becomes, “Which breed of dog should I get?”, which itself breaks down into three inquiries: (1) What kind of canine personality do I want? For example, I am laid-back and generally dislike drama. So my ideal dog would share this outlook on life, recognizing that barking and jumping is unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. (2) Which breed will fit into my lifestyle? For example, I work a lot and although I would hire a walker to hang out with the dog once or twice while I’m at work, I don’t want an excessively social (needy) dog. There’s nothing more depressing than a depressed dog. (3) Which breed will complete my look?

But what if we stopped trying to plan the perfect life and instead committed to an animal without any strings attached? Back in February, “I Love NYC Pets” month made me think, “Would I really opt for a purebred dog when there are so many homeless dogs right here in Manhattan? What if a mutt were the Right choice, despite the fact that its specific behavioral traits may be harder to predict and it might not match my outfits?” Personally, I can’t justify risking the life of a perfectly worthy, homeless dog just because everyone around me has carefully selected the perfect accessory canine. Ah, but what if a mutt were the perfect accessory canine? I would imagine that it could be, especially if you are a non-conforming conformist, such as myself. Maybe even a large, black mutt, if you’re particularly individualistic. Just a thought. Happy poop-scooping.