Which completely hideous, fat, acne-ridden actress is insecure about her looks? Click below for the answer.Catherine Zeta-Jones and I can officially never be friends. Not that she was exactly texting me non-stop to hang out. But, if she did, I would say "Listen, Cat, I'm flattered that you want to catch a movie and then maybe stop in for a quick pasta carbonara at Otto....but no thanks." Because when the most beautiful woman in the world describes herself like this...

"Well, I know I'm not Quasimodo but as far as I'm concerned, you know, I think I'm not aesthetically beautiful. I have a broken nose here. I had a tracheotomy when I was a kid. I had broken capillaries. I always ask my husband, do I look fat in this dress? Can you see that spot on my face?"

...then it makes every other woman of the world want to never, ever, ever, leave their apartment again. Not even to hang out with a movie star.