Do You Need To Go On A Social Media Detox Trip?

Is facebook taking over your life? Are you twittering in your sleep? Maybe you should consider checking into the Lorien Hotel in Alexandria, where you can sign up for a Social Media Detox. While they don't take away your iPhone at check-in, they DO offer incentives for not signing on, including discounts for the hotel restaurant, hiking maps, and, sort of weirdly, teddy bears...

Here's What A Social Media Detox Weekend Gets You:

10 minute chair massage at the Hotel Spa

$20 credit to hotel Restaurant, including the "Face to Face Cocktail"

Walking map, to reintroduce yourself to the great outdoors

A bicycle, in case you remember how to ride one. It's been a long time since you've left your computer.

A teddy bear, available on request, for getting you through the hard, lonely, gchat-free night.

$25 gift certificate towards a future stay if you somehow prove you haven't gone on facebook or twitter the entire time.

Here's What A Social Media Detox Weekend Does Not Give You:

Social re-introduction classes, for those who haven't communicated in 3-d since 1999.

Rehabilitation therapy for your text-tired thumbs.

Counseling for when you have hard Tumblr withdrawals.

A life. Like, a real one.