If you weren't screaming with your hands raised above your head during the last 10 minutes of last night's episode, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe this show isn't for you. Anyway, holy crap so much ish went down! From Jon and Dany's intense eye-f*cking (oh come on just makeout already!) to Jaime's valiant (but oh so stupid) move, read on to relive Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 4.
1. I forgot how much I liked Bronn. He's like the funny friend who's real with rich people so they keep him around.
2. Enough with the Dickon jokes. It's my least favorite bit.
3. At least Pixie Hitler hates banks as much as we do.
4. Does Littlefinger wear an invisible fedora I MEAN WHY IS HE SO CREEPY?
5. "Chaos is a ladder." DAMN. (FYI, Bran is quoting Littlefinger's little monologue to Varys circa season 3. Which is why he's so #shook)
6. Bran is such a fuckboy. This goodbye is literally how all my breakups go.
7. YAS ARYA.
8. Oh my god these two idiots, like can you not?
9. THIS IS THE SADDEST REUNION EVER THEY BOTH KNOW HOW EFFED UP THEIR LIVES MUST HAVE BEEN BEFORE MAKING IT BACK HOME.
10. "Our stories aren't over yet." PLEASE DO NOT BE IRONIC FORESHADOWING.
11. So Bran is a sociopath now.
12. Somebody get Missandei and Daenerys some mimosas so they can have a proper sex recap please.
13. Is this a metaphor for Dany letting Jon *enter her cave*? (omg I'm so sorry.)
14. GET YOU A MAN WHO LOOKS AT DANY THE WAY JON DOES.
15. THAT MOMENT HE TOUCHES HER I'M FEELING THE ELECTRICITY
16. Kiss kiss kiss kiss...
17. "When you bend the knee." UGH DANY JUST GET OVER IT FOR ONE SECOND.
18. YAS ARYA TAKE TWO.
19. That moment Sansa realizes Arya was not joking about her list.
20. Ser Davos should get his own spinoff.
21. "Do you hear that?" UM YES THAT'S MY KWEEN COMING TO BURN Y'ALL TO THE GROUND.
23. HOW MUCH MONEY DID THIS SCENE COST TO MAKE IS THERE A FUND I CAN DONATE TO FOR MORE OF THESE
24. Bronn *take the money and run*
25. NO NO NO NO Don't fly back after you just saw that massive arrow barely miss you, Drogon!
26. Tyrion: "Jaime you're an idiot."
Us: "Jaime you're an idiot."
Drogon: "Jaime you're an idiot."
27. These conflicting thoughts:
me: OMG BRONN DON’T KILL DROGON!
me: OMG DROGON DON’T KILL BRONN!
me: OMG JAIME DON'T KILL DAENERYS!
me: OMG DROGON DON'T KILL JAIME!
— (@JHerondaleW) August 7, 2017
[Photo via HBO]