Gossip Girl: Showing You How Unfabulous Your Life Is

by guestofaguest · January 3, 2008

serena by pool

[Photo from NYmag]

Gossip Girl is out to teach young tweens across the globe what the adult world already knows: rich kids get to do things differently than the rest of us....their pool parties take place in their upper east side school's marble lined pool with $200 bottles of Vodka being poured by their arms adorned in jeweled bracelets; not your standard backyard pool party with bud light served in red plastic cups and girls in striped Jcrew numbers. When they get caught by their prestigious school's new head mistress for the break in, they buy libraries named after them to avoid expulsion. It seems unfair to you when you are young to watch your counterparts soak up their parent's money and manipulate their contemporaries into whatever they wish, but then there comes a point when the tables turn and you realize who really had it better.

Serena and Blair will end up as depressed alcoholic, UES apartment dwellers where their lives will continue to revolve around the societal affairs that nobody really thinks are important, but that they choose to participate in because there's nothing else to do except gossip over the fries at Fred's in Barney's over who's husband is cheating on them, and ridiculing their friends for their addiction to Percocet while carrying a bottle of Soma in their Birkin. They will be living in highschool until they die. Meanwhile, Vanessa, though incredibly weird, will probably be living a somewhat normal life in Arizona. Then again, who am I kidding, Serena and Blair will constantly be traveling around the globe (non-commercially) where they can wake up in puffy white robes and drink champagne, while Vanessa will be camping out in Colorado with her L.L Bean gear and 4 rugrats sans nanny. I say dream big kids.

Sorry about my little rant, on to the episode. Thought that the drama was a little overdone. In other words, what happened in one hour could have took place in 30 minutes. Enough with Serena's hair already, it's not even pissing me off anymore, it's just becoming irrelevant (as is her character). No one's hair looks like that at a pool party (and that swimsuit of hers is meant for her mother, not her, was uber-unflattering). Lily and Rufus: if you guys really are in love which we are made to believe, screw your kids. Seriously they are 17! The chance that they will ever really be together is like 0.0002% and who cares if they have to hate each other as step-siblings, their worlds are so different, they will go to college with Serena spending summers in the south of France and Dan spring breaking in a dirty hotel room in Miami anyway. Other than that, wasn't too interested in this episode. Chuck's body was a disappointment, Dan and Serena continue to cause me to want to rip my eyeballs out (the ending scene with them in bed studying made me have to literally turn off my tv), Nate is a pussy, Serena rocked out that DVF dress, the asians wore weird flower shower caps, and Blair continues to be my favorite character.

Best scene was by far when she confronts Vanessa after paying her rent for a whole year: "Blair Waldorf is not indebted to anyone...now I can go back to hating you." Genius move. That's all for me, see you next week for the finale. xoxo