Eavesdropping In: Ashton Kutcher To Replace Charlie Sheen In Two And A Half Men, Matthew Perry To Rehab

by Mara Siegler · May 13, 2011

Osama bin Laden wanted to assassinate President Obama—but Joe Biden? No point in bothering with him. [Telegraph]

Wasilla principal Dwight Probasco banned the 1975 Queen hit "Bohemian Rhapsody," for his high school choir because Freddy Mercury was gay. [Frontiersman]

Sources say Ashton Kutcher is putting the finishing touches on a deal to replace Sheen as one of Two and a Half Men's men. [HR]

Matthew Perry is going to rehab for substance abuse. [TMZ]

Staten Island man pours life savings into ads proclaiming doomsday on May 21. [NYP]