Under the anonymity of this blog we can admit things like this: We are Closet Michael Bolton Lovers. In real life, few people know that we secretely jam out on road trips to "Time, Love, and Tenderness", that the lyrics to "How can we be Lovers if we can't be Friends" send us into a deep state of contemplation, and that Michael was the very first person we saw onstage at our very first concert with our mom.
We have been living a lie, and laughing in agreement at jokes like this (from Office Space),
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad. Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name. Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
when in all honestly, we secretly hated this character and his opinion of our beloved singer. That's why, when we sat across from this man (pictured above) on the 6 train, we were overwhelmed with admiration. He wasn't ashamed of his feelings for the singer, and we instantly felt a connection.
Rock on Bolton lovers!