Betting on the somewhat erroneous assumption that everyone wants to become low-watt versions of Chuck Bass, the Miami-based Del Toro Slipper Company just released a new look book.

The company was founded by three fresh-faced University of Miami kids with one dream...

"..We badly wanted a pair of velvet shoes with our school emblem on them. To think, we could be smoking our senior cigars in our boarding school slippers."

To think, indeed!

Once an accessory relegated to Hugh Hefner and Agatha Christie novels, velvet slippers are now being worn by the likes of Kristian Laliberte and Paul Johnson Calderon (whose favorite pair is adorned with a marijuana leaf emblem).

So maybe these start-ups from Miami are on to something. But I think their lookbook, while thoroughly entertaining, might need a little work.

"She tried to get my ROOK with her PAWN?! hahahhahahahahahhaha!"

You, too, can be awkwardly undressed by a woman in a green terry cloth bathrob (and..scarf?) if you buy Del Toro shoes!

"I dunno, should I go for the slipper with the French Bull dog on it, or the Greyhound? The French Bulldog goes with my tie, but the Greyhound brings out my eyes..."

"Pssst...let me see what's underneath those slippers..."

And, lest anyone think that the mere donning of  velvet slippers isn't fruity enough...

You can get them with ACTUAL fruit on them. Just to drive the point home.

[Images via]